Saturday, May 31, 2008
Interesting jobs on your 1040EZ |2:39 PM| Since I won't be pedicabbing for dollars, I will also be avoiding being vomited on by passengers.
If I was going to put up with being vomited on, it would be far more profitable to become a collector of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambergris. Yes, it may be whale vomit, but it's whale vomit that goes for $10 a gram. If you found one of these 100 pound deposits you could buy all the hand scrub and dignity you needed!
It appears you normally have to find this stuff floating around or on the coast. I think we should really look into going to the source, and secure a more reliable supply. Fox could do a reality show about rogue ambergris mercenaries, armed with gargantuan q-tips. There'd be drama as the merc yells for the size 100 rod, shouting down the protests and fears of his crew. We'd experience the joy at the opening of the hold at the dock, unloading another steaming pile of gray gold.
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Friday, May 30, 2008
Adventures in store names |7:40 AM| Yesterday, I found myself trapped downtown by rush hour traffic*.
Since gas prices are absolutely destroying my budget, I went from bike shop to bike shop trying to find the perfect deal. I talked to people at every store, got sources for research, prices, etc, the reasonable and boring steps. I did find out that if I started pedi-cabbing as I had been considering, any money I earned would be offset by my bike exploding into flame, possibly while it tried to stab me and emitting radiation. Such was the level of wear and tear of transporting the tragically drunk and lazy.
To keep things interesting, every time I left a store, I told my GPS unit to search for nearby "Specialty Shopping". These were camera shops, violin repair, etc. I was hoping to find odd and unique stores, and so I went to any store whose name sounded interesting, especially those that did not clearly indicate what that store actually sold.
The only thing I found was the possibility of an important marketing lesson: If people can't tell what you sell by your name alone, they won't shop there.
All too many of the places I went, like "Mnemosyne" and "Judaica Shop" were gone, replaced by stuff like "Junior's Bar and Grill" whose purpose is far more clear.
I could be reading too much into this, we are in a slumping economy, and bad shit happens. This is also not to say I think people need to name their bake shops "Bake shop that sells bread, sometimes cake". But, take "Drumz". They sell drums.
I will continue the random search for the unique, but I think I'll update the maps on my GPS first.
*I was carrying a ladder around that I would have to deliver later anyhow. Erik's cat Lily had, continuing a series of annoying and incompetent actions, gotten stuck in the attic. Since I'm less a human and more a walking swiss army knife, I was able to acquire and supply the needed ladder and assist Erik in building a wire barrier. While at Lowes we met a 60 year old woman who was absolutely committed to "Have a heart" humane/live traps for all creatures...unless they were mice. In the cases of mice she turned bloodthirsty killer, supporting toothed traps and boot stomping.
Stupid ideas in reaction to gas prices:
Electric/Gasoline hybrid Molotov cocktails
(0) comments
Interesting jobs on your 1040EZ |2:39 PM| Since I won't be pedicabbing for dollars, I will also be avoiding being vomited on by passengers.
If I was going to put up with being vomited on, it would be far more profitable to become a collector of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambergris. Yes, it may be whale vomit, but it's whale vomit that goes for $10 a gram. If you found one of these 100 pound deposits you could buy all the hand scrub and dignity you needed!
It appears you normally have to find this stuff floating around or on the coast. I think we should really look into going to the source, and secure a more reliable supply. Fox could do a reality show about rogue ambergris mercenaries, armed with gargantuan q-tips. There'd be drama as the merc yells for the size 100 rod, shouting down the protests and fears of his crew. We'd experience the joy at the opening of the hold at the dock, unloading another steaming pile of gray gold.
(0) comments
Friday, May 30, 2008
Adventures in store names |7:40 AM| Yesterday, I found myself trapped downtown by rush hour traffic*.
Since gas prices are absolutely destroying my budget, I went from bike shop to bike shop trying to find the perfect deal. I talked to people at every store, got sources for research, prices, etc, the reasonable and boring steps. I did find out that if I started pedi-cabbing as I had been considering, any money I earned would be offset by my bike exploding into flame, possibly while it tried to stab me and emitting radiation. Such was the level of wear and tear of transporting the tragically drunk and lazy.
To keep things interesting, every time I left a store, I told my GPS unit to search for nearby "Specialty Shopping". These were camera shops, violin repair, etc. I was hoping to find odd and unique stores, and so I went to any store whose name sounded interesting, especially those that did not clearly indicate what that store actually sold.
The only thing I found was the possibility of an important marketing lesson: If people can't tell what you sell by your name alone, they won't shop there.
All too many of the places I went, like "Mnemosyne" and "Judaica Shop" were gone, replaced by stuff like "Junior's Bar and Grill" whose purpose is far more clear.
I could be reading too much into this, we are in a slumping economy, and bad shit happens. This is also not to say I think people need to name their bake shops "Bake shop that sells bread, sometimes cake". But, take "Drumz". They sell drums.
I will continue the random search for the unique, but I think I'll update the maps on my GPS first.
*I was carrying a ladder around that I would have to deliver later anyhow. Erik's cat Lily had, continuing a series of annoying and incompetent actions, gotten stuck in the attic. Since I'm less a human and more a walking swiss army knife, I was able to acquire and supply the needed ladder and assist Erik in building a wire barrier. While at Lowes we met a 60 year old woman who was absolutely committed to "Have a heart" humane/live traps for all creatures...unless they were mice. In the cases of mice she turned bloodthirsty killer, supporting toothed traps and boot stomping.
Stupid ideas in reaction to gas prices:
Electric/Gasoline hybrid Molotov cocktails
(0) comments
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