Thursday, December 20, 2007
|9:56 AM| An off-shore, outsourced tech recruiter called me, asked me about a job, and asked if my resume's salary request of "At least 40k a year" was negotiable. I told him "Absolutely! I'd love at least $45K a year for a desktop support job!" This flummoxed him, as he was intent on following the yes/no decision tree script, explaining how the max compensation was 38K a year.
I was walking through a Walmart parking lot two evenings ago, and I was asked by a car full of women if I knew how to tie a tie. Upon my giving an answer in the affirmative a nervous hand presented a still price-tagged "Donald Trump" brand tie.
I cannot describe or explain how to tie an upper windsor knot, but neither can I explain how to swallow. The muscles all remember.
They wanted it tied "kinda short", for a kid somewhere, I suppose, I was filling a paternal role. I even managed to get the tie off of my neck without screwing up the knot, which is the lazy jerk's trick to save time in the morning. Tie your knot, stick said tie on a rack, and you buy yourself 5 or more minutes of sleep. Dress code compliance, just add neck.
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Monday, December 17, 2007
Lots of missing stuff |9:26 PM| But meanwhile, a phone call I received while sitting in a fine and polite restaurant:
*Ring ring, banana PHONE*
Me: This is Brendan
Dude: "YO MAN, WHERE YOU AT MOTHERFUCKER?"
Me: Eating?
Dude: UHHH....who is this?
Me: This is Brendan
Dude: Wrong, uh I must Wrong number
Me: That's okay...MOTHERFUCKER
*CLICK*
The moment he said "MOTHERFUCKER" I knew it was a wrong number, so I was running for the door by the time he said "UHHH"
I jumped out of the restaurant into the parking lot so I could shout MOTHERFUCKER
(1) comments
|9:56 AM| An off-shore, outsourced tech recruiter called me, asked me about a job, and asked if my resume's salary request of "At least 40k a year" was negotiable. I told him "Absolutely! I'd love at least $45K a year for a desktop support job!" This flummoxed him, as he was intent on following the yes/no decision tree script, explaining how the max compensation was 38K a year.
I was walking through a Walmart parking lot two evenings ago, and I was asked by a car full of women if I knew how to tie a tie. Upon my giving an answer in the affirmative a nervous hand presented a still price-tagged "Donald Trump" brand tie.
I cannot describe or explain how to tie an upper windsor knot, but neither can I explain how to swallow. The muscles all remember.
They wanted it tied "kinda short", for a kid somewhere, I suppose, I was filling a paternal role. I even managed to get the tie off of my neck without screwing up the knot, which is the lazy jerk's trick to save time in the morning. Tie your knot, stick said tie on a rack, and you buy yourself 5 or more minutes of sleep. Dress code compliance, just add neck.
(0) comments
Monday, December 17, 2007
Lots of missing stuff |9:26 PM| But meanwhile, a phone call I received while sitting in a fine and polite restaurant:
*Ring ring, banana PHONE*
Me: This is Brendan
Dude: "YO MAN, WHERE YOU AT MOTHERFUCKER?"
Me: Eating?
Dude: UHHH....who is this?
Me: This is Brendan
Dude: Wrong, uh I must Wrong number
Me: That's okay...MOTHERFUCKER
*CLICK*
The moment he said "MOTHERFUCKER" I knew it was a wrong number, so I was running for the door by the time he said "UHHH"
I jumped out of the restaurant into the parking lot so I could shout MOTHERFUCKER
(1) comments
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