Friday, April 01, 2005
Grocery Store Tips |6:35 PM| Here's goddamn conversational ProTip:
If you think you might be the subject of the heated discussion between the people waiting behind you in a line, here's a general way of making sure. Are you a pathetic, miserly old woman, devoid of logic and people skills? Are you holding up a grocery checkout for several ice ages? Are you holding up the line over a price dispute on yogurt, a price dispute of THIRTY FUCKING CENTS on 3 FUCKING ITEMS?
ARE YOU? Did you demand that they send a clerk to check the shelf, and then continue arguing the point with the cashier, once he got back confirming the price? Is there a man with odd hair and a live fish in a bag, who has already unloaded his items onto the belt, holding a five dollar bill waiting to offer it to the cashier to settle this debate?
WELL GUESS WHAT. You ARE the subject of the conversation, and YES, that guy DID just say he was going to "Gut her, hollow out a space and carve a fucking bookshelf out of her corpse".
You better pretend you didn't hear that, and leave to go check the shelf price yourself, YOU STUPID FUCKING PRUNE.
Note: I did not confront the woman directly, this probably would have further delayed the line. I should have just given the difference in her fucking yogurt purchases to the cashier, since the time spent at that point waiting multiplied by minimum wage alone was too fucking much wasted money.
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Thursday, March 31, 2005
Cars and shorts |4:11 PM| “Hi, this is _______ equipment supply, how can I help you?”
Me: “Hello. I don’t want to be a..uh tattle tale, but one of your vehicles, he’s driving like a luna… I mean a bit aggressively.”
“Oh? What kind of car was it?”
”It was a pickup, I didn’t catch the plate number, but the back is covered in NASCAR stickers and numbers.”
“A truck? Not a van?”
“Definitely a truck, with a giant sump pump on the back.”
“Hmm. My boss is on the line with someone else saying the same thing, hold for a second…”
And then I repeated my story, saying how this white pickup was tailgating, weaving from lane to lane, and driving like a maniac. I succeeded in keeping a variety of curse words out of my description, despite the driver’s notable asshole-ness. Though I felt a little bit of snitch-shame, I’m pretty sure the boss took it seriously, and the guy was being a total dick. With any luck that wanna-be NASCAR driver is looking for new work.
Speaking of pickup trucks, I was walking to my apartment the other day, and there was an extremely attractive woman of about my age, struggling with boxes in her truck. Her tanktop/shorts combo suggested either a lot of planned work in the sun, or advertisement of skin. Anyhow, I would normally offer to help just about anyone who needed it, but I hesitated due to her attractiveness. I assumed that she would assume that I would be helping just for the chance to see her take the tanktop/shorts off. Now, I’m not going to deny that helping someone who is easy on the eyes doesn’t offer a slight bonus to the ego above helping the two middle aged women on the highway ramp or similar cases. However, I would think that my history shows me to be a helpful passerby, and a faithful boyfriend.
I need a permit or a license that says “Not a total creep-show” with a list of previous acts of helpfulness, and a signed certificate from my girlfriend that says “Nice guy”.
Anyhow, I ended up offering help to the young woman, and she politely declined. There were a lot of reasons to decline the help, so it’s very possible she didn’t assume I was a hooligan.
Or maybe my girlfriend was right and my sunglasses make me look evil.
(0) comments
Monday, March 28, 2005
This is me being excited, and pissed |11:26 AM| Evolving, mating robots
This is quite similar to an idea I had to have a matrix of numbers representing particular commands and responses to stimuli being passed between two rovers, with a feeding array and possibly a predator. This guy did it in a much more simple and elegant fashion.
It's my own damn fault for just sitting on my idea without actually constructing it. Well, that and I couldn't afford the second robot that my idea required. I have the chip to control the feeding station, which wouldn't be anything more than a counter since I didn't want the damn things to actually be recharging at it.
Anyhow, once I take care of the movie cap/pre-editing, I'll start saving for a second 'bot.
(0) comments
Grocery Store Tips |6:35 PM| Here's goddamn conversational ProTip:
If you think you might be the subject of the heated discussion between the people waiting behind you in a line, here's a general way of making sure. Are you a pathetic, miserly old woman, devoid of logic and people skills? Are you holding up a grocery checkout for several ice ages? Are you holding up the line over a price dispute on yogurt, a price dispute of THIRTY FUCKING CENTS on 3 FUCKING ITEMS?
ARE YOU? Did you demand that they send a clerk to check the shelf, and then continue arguing the point with the cashier, once he got back confirming the price? Is there a man with odd hair and a live fish in a bag, who has already unloaded his items onto the belt, holding a five dollar bill waiting to offer it to the cashier to settle this debate?
WELL GUESS WHAT. You ARE the subject of the conversation, and YES, that guy DID just say he was going to "Gut her, hollow out a space and carve a fucking bookshelf out of her corpse".
You better pretend you didn't hear that, and leave to go check the shelf price yourself, YOU STUPID FUCKING PRUNE.
Note: I did not confront the woman directly, this probably would have further delayed the line. I should have just given the difference in her fucking yogurt purchases to the cashier, since the time spent at that point waiting multiplied by minimum wage alone was too fucking much wasted money.
(0) comments
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Cars and shorts |4:11 PM| “Hi, this is _______ equipment supply, how can I help you?”
Me: “Hello. I don’t want to be a..uh tattle tale, but one of your vehicles, he’s driving like a luna… I mean a bit aggressively.”
“Oh? What kind of car was it?”
”It was a pickup, I didn’t catch the plate number, but the back is covered in NASCAR stickers and numbers.”
“A truck? Not a van?”
“Definitely a truck, with a giant sump pump on the back.”
“Hmm. My boss is on the line with someone else saying the same thing, hold for a second…”
And then I repeated my story, saying how this white pickup was tailgating, weaving from lane to lane, and driving like a maniac. I succeeded in keeping a variety of curse words out of my description, despite the driver’s notable asshole-ness. Though I felt a little bit of snitch-shame, I’m pretty sure the boss took it seriously, and the guy was being a total dick. With any luck that wanna-be NASCAR driver is looking for new work.
Speaking of pickup trucks, I was walking to my apartment the other day, and there was an extremely attractive woman of about my age, struggling with boxes in her truck. Her tanktop/shorts combo suggested either a lot of planned work in the sun, or advertisement of skin. Anyhow, I would normally offer to help just about anyone who needed it, but I hesitated due to her attractiveness. I assumed that she would assume that I would be helping just for the chance to see her take the tanktop/shorts off. Now, I’m not going to deny that helping someone who is easy on the eyes doesn’t offer a slight bonus to the ego above helping the two middle aged women on the highway ramp or similar cases. However, I would think that my history shows me to be a helpful passerby, and a faithful boyfriend.
I need a permit or a license that says “Not a total creep-show” with a list of previous acts of helpfulness, and a signed certificate from my girlfriend that says “Nice guy”.
Anyhow, I ended up offering help to the young woman, and she politely declined. There were a lot of reasons to decline the help, so it’s very possible she didn’t assume I was a hooligan.
Or maybe my girlfriend was right and my sunglasses make me look evil.
(0) comments
Monday, March 28, 2005
This is me being excited, and pissed |11:26 AM| Evolving, mating robots
This is quite similar to an idea I had to have a matrix of numbers representing particular commands and responses to stimuli being passed between two rovers, with a feeding array and possibly a predator. This guy did it in a much more simple and elegant fashion.
It's my own damn fault for just sitting on my idea without actually constructing it. Well, that and I couldn't afford the second robot that my idea required. I have the chip to control the feeding station, which wouldn't be anything more than a counter since I didn't want the damn things to actually be recharging at it.
Anyhow, once I take care of the movie cap/pre-editing, I'll start saving for a second 'bot.
(0) comments
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