Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Polite note left on a parked car. |1:27 AM| I was out at the local cinema the other day, when perchance I came across one of the most obnoxious parking jobs I have ever seen.
It was in a parking lot that serves a mall as well as the movie theater, on a weekend, so parking spaces are already at a premium. Though it has little to do with what an asshole the driver was, the spaces in question were some of the closest ones to the theater.
Spaces? Why yes. This vehicle parked in the middle of the yellow line, blocking 2 spaces, and then pulled forward to block an amazing 4 spaces.
Click for a larger version.
I Looked around for the person wearing the "I'm with douchebag" and upward pointing arrow shirt, but there was no one in sight. I wrote a polite note and left it under the wiper blade.
"Dear fuckstick. Nice parking job asshole! I hit your car anyway. Have fun finding it!"
No, I did not damage this person's vehicle, but they probably starved to death in the time it would take to search that thing's body panels for a dent or scratch.
(0) comments
Monday, March 14, 2005
Thanks, Dell IT. Also: Stupid shit bussiness people do. |1:39 PM| You wishy-washy fucksticks.
TPL is blocked at work. That's all fine and dandy if I was busy throughout the day, but that's just not the way this job works.
Handsfree setups for phones can be very useful. They are also a good way to judge the judgement of a person. If some doofus is loudly speaking to the air while standing against a wall, apparently talking to no one, but being heard by everyone around him, he might very well be a psychotic street person. Or, he might be a Very Important person who needs to advertise how important he is by shouting his over-the-phone orders to the world at large. If your behaviour is difficult to distinguish from the people too smelly and scary to give money to on the street, it's probably not very proffesional. Also, if you're holding the phone in one hand, why the fuck are you using the hands free in the first place?
I'm often tempted when near these people, as well as being near some cover, (like at the grocery store) to say something hideous so that the omnidirectional microphone on the hands free set picks it up.
Doofus: "Yes, Roger, we're totally going to need to use our strengths against their weakness, and pump it up for the third quarter sales! It's going to be a war, and I.... no, I didn't say my penis was bleeding, that was someone on the next aisle."
Something I'm seeing around town, especially here at Dell, are people carrying their laptops open and running. I can understand if you're checking email while you're on the way to the meeting that you're late for, but the vast majority of these people aren't even looking at the screen. They're just cradling the open device to their body, or holding it out like a talisman, just asking for an unhappy incident. Instead of treating that screen like it's the a 17" inch, $1000 chunk of glass that it is, they're acting like it's as tough as a walkman. How many of these morons have slipped and landed on that thing? A goddamn bird could fly into the screen from the lack of caution they're showing.
Idiots. You don't have to burp laptops. You can also wait the 5 seconds it takes the laptop to wake up once it's been closed when you get to your desk.
As far as I can tell, they saw someone Important checking email because they were late as fuck while running to a meeting, and associated being in a hurry or being productive with being fucking idiotic.
(0) comments
Polite note left on a parked car. |1:27 AM| I was out at the local cinema the other day, when perchance I came across one of the most obnoxious parking jobs I have ever seen.
It was in a parking lot that serves a mall as well as the movie theater, on a weekend, so parking spaces are already at a premium. Though it has little to do with what an asshole the driver was, the spaces in question were some of the closest ones to the theater.
Spaces? Why yes. This vehicle parked in the middle of the yellow line, blocking 2 spaces, and then pulled forward to block an amazing 4 spaces.
Click for a larger version.
I Looked around for the person wearing the "I'm with douchebag" and upward pointing arrow shirt, but there was no one in sight. I wrote a polite note and left it under the wiper blade.
"Dear fuckstick. Nice parking job asshole! I hit your car anyway. Have fun finding it!"
No, I did not damage this person's vehicle, but they probably starved to death in the time it would take to search that thing's body panels for a dent or scratch.
(0) comments
Monday, March 14, 2005
Thanks, Dell IT. Also: Stupid shit bussiness people do. |1:39 PM| You wishy-washy fucksticks.
TPL is blocked at work. That's all fine and dandy if I was busy throughout the day, but that's just not the way this job works.
Handsfree setups for phones can be very useful. They are also a good way to judge the judgement of a person. If some doofus is loudly speaking to the air while standing against a wall, apparently talking to no one, but being heard by everyone around him, he might very well be a psychotic street person. Or, he might be a Very Important person who needs to advertise how important he is by shouting his over-the-phone orders to the world at large. If your behaviour is difficult to distinguish from the people too smelly and scary to give money to on the street, it's probably not very proffesional. Also, if you're holding the phone in one hand, why the fuck are you using the hands free in the first place?
I'm often tempted when near these people, as well as being near some cover, (like at the grocery store) to say something hideous so that the omnidirectional microphone on the hands free set picks it up.
Doofus: "Yes, Roger, we're totally going to need to use our strengths against their weakness, and pump it up for the third quarter sales! It's going to be a war, and I.... no, I didn't say my penis was bleeding, that was someone on the next aisle."
Something I'm seeing around town, especially here at Dell, are people carrying their laptops open and running. I can understand if you're checking email while you're on the way to the meeting that you're late for, but the vast majority of these people aren't even looking at the screen. They're just cradling the open device to their body, or holding it out like a talisman, just asking for an unhappy incident. Instead of treating that screen like it's the a 17" inch, $1000 chunk of glass that it is, they're acting like it's as tough as a walkman. How many of these morons have slipped and landed on that thing? A goddamn bird could fly into the screen from the lack of caution they're showing.
Idiots. You don't have to burp laptops. You can also wait the 5 seconds it takes the laptop to wake up once it's been closed when you get to your desk.
As far as I can tell, they saw someone Important checking email because they were late as fuck while running to a meeting, and associated being in a hurry or being productive with being fucking idiotic.
(0) comments
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