Wednesday, September 29, 2004
The Cold War over clouds. |6:07 PM| I have a photo here, but don't click the link to view it until you've read the story. this photo is from New Years Day uh....2 years ago? Maybe 3. (Sheesh. Gettin' old) but it took this long to get my hands on it, and have it scanned. (Thank you Portal)
The image is of a buddy (Known online as Dante) of mine's brother (Mark), and the cousin (Cirrus) of the same friend (and obviously Mark's cousin as well). Cirrus had never gotten drunk before, and on that particular night, she had asked Mark to help her get plastered. And she was well on her way to hiccups and a red nose when I met up with her.
It was probably 12:30am or so, a group of friends and I were hanging out at Dante's apartment.
I don't drink very often, almost to the point of "never", (which comes in handy for a lot of my friends, as they can count on me to be the designated driver, or "designated get the clothes from the tree and force the friend to put them back on guy"). Cirrus was plastered, surrounded by strangers, many of whom were also drunk, getting drunk, or past drunk into a strange zen/nirvana/Kurt Cobain new dimension of alcoholic bliss. Dante's girlfriend (GizmoGun online) noticed this, and told me "Take care of Cirrus, make sure nothing happens to her."
I went into "important, honorable duty" mode and stuck next to Cirrus, who was getting increasingly touchy-feely. I politely refrained from responding or returning the hugs, or rubs, or what have you. It was my job.
Earlier I mentioned how Mark had been the one helping Cirrus get drunk, and in his mind this made him responsible for her wellbeing. This was unknown to me at the time. From his point of view, he'd gotten his cousin drunk, and suddenly there was this weirdo (Me) near Cirrus, not leaving her side, and clearly taking an interest in her behaviour. He started sticking VERY close to Cirrus, and generally being nice and charming to her. He thought he was cockblocking an asshole trying to get into his cousin's pants.
At the same time, I notice that Mark is not leaving Cirrus's side, and was, so far as I could tell, hitting on her.
I thought I was going to have to cockblock some asshole trying to get into his own cousin's pants. My mental reaction could be translated into:
"Ewwwwwwwww"
The evening turned into a kind of Cold War between Mark and I. Both convinced the other was trying to sleep with Cirrus, we wouldn't let the other leave our sight, nor would we leave Cirrus alone. Imagine Vietnam or Afghanistan or other small countries, suddenly having huge amounts of attention paid to them by people who don't dare come out in the open and fight. This is what the couch, onto which Cirrus had collapsed, became. However, instead of the threat of Communism, this was the threat of drunken incest.
Other than occasional moments of "detente" in Cold War terms, Mark and I spoke to each other through fake smiling, gritted teeth, while constantly trying to make the other guy look like a putz in front of the chick. Deliberately cockblocking each other.
At the end of the evening, after Cirrus had passed out in the guest bedroom (Which had nearly incited a fight between Mark and I, since I was adament that she sleep on the couch, and he was just as adament she sleep in the guest room) I raised my concern with Dante and his girlfriend (GizmoGun online). Sometime before or after I had spoken to Will, Mark had done the same. Our message had been nearly identical, that the other guy was a creep trying to move in on Cirrus.
Luckily, Will was able to mediate between us ("You are both idiots. And for God's sake Cecil, she's his cousin!" Me: "That's why it was so gross!")
Now Mark and I are now on at least "Not going to blow up your continent" terms.
The Image in Question
I am on the left, Mark is on the right/on the floor.
(0) comments
The Cold War over clouds. |6:07 PM| I have a photo here, but don't click the link to view it until you've read the story. this photo is from New Years Day uh....2 years ago? Maybe 3. (Sheesh. Gettin' old) but it took this long to get my hands on it, and have it scanned. (Thank you Portal)
The image is of a buddy (Known online as Dante) of mine's brother (Mark), and the cousin (Cirrus) of the same friend (and obviously Mark's cousin as well). Cirrus had never gotten drunk before, and on that particular night, she had asked Mark to help her get plastered. And she was well on her way to hiccups and a red nose when I met up with her.
It was probably 12:30am or so, a group of friends and I were hanging out at Dante's apartment.
I don't drink very often, almost to the point of "never", (which comes in handy for a lot of my friends, as they can count on me to be the designated driver, or "designated get the clothes from the tree and force the friend to put them back on guy"). Cirrus was plastered, surrounded by strangers, many of whom were also drunk, getting drunk, or past drunk into a strange zen/nirvana/Kurt Cobain new dimension of alcoholic bliss. Dante's girlfriend (GizmoGun online) noticed this, and told me "Take care of Cirrus, make sure nothing happens to her."
I went into "important, honorable duty" mode and stuck next to Cirrus, who was getting increasingly touchy-feely. I politely refrained from responding or returning the hugs, or rubs, or what have you. It was my job.
Earlier I mentioned how Mark had been the one helping Cirrus get drunk, and in his mind this made him responsible for her wellbeing. This was unknown to me at the time. From his point of view, he'd gotten his cousin drunk, and suddenly there was this weirdo (Me) near Cirrus, not leaving her side, and clearly taking an interest in her behaviour. He started sticking VERY close to Cirrus, and generally being nice and charming to her. He thought he was cockblocking an asshole trying to get into his cousin's pants.
At the same time, I notice that Mark is not leaving Cirrus's side, and was, so far as I could tell, hitting on her.
I thought I was going to have to cockblock some asshole trying to get into his own cousin's pants. My mental reaction could be translated into:
"Ewwwwwwwww"
The evening turned into a kind of Cold War between Mark and I. Both convinced the other was trying to sleep with Cirrus, we wouldn't let the other leave our sight, nor would we leave Cirrus alone. Imagine Vietnam or Afghanistan or other small countries, suddenly having huge amounts of attention paid to them by people who don't dare come out in the open and fight. This is what the couch, onto which Cirrus had collapsed, became. However, instead of the threat of Communism, this was the threat of drunken incest.
Other than occasional moments of "detente" in Cold War terms, Mark and I spoke to each other through fake smiling, gritted teeth, while constantly trying to make the other guy look like a putz in front of the chick. Deliberately cockblocking each other.
At the end of the evening, after Cirrus had passed out in the guest bedroom (Which had nearly incited a fight between Mark and I, since I was adament that she sleep on the couch, and he was just as adament she sleep in the guest room) I raised my concern with Dante and his girlfriend (GizmoGun online). Sometime before or after I had spoken to Will, Mark had done the same. Our message had been nearly identical, that the other guy was a creep trying to move in on Cirrus.
Luckily, Will was able to mediate between us ("You are both idiots. And for God's sake Cecil, she's his cousin!" Me: "That's why it was so gross!")
Now Mark and I are now on at least "Not going to blow up your continent" terms.
The Image in Question
I am on the left, Mark is on the right/on the floor.
(0) comments
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