Vorpal: "Four weeks after the operation, the man ate a German sausage sandwich, his first real meal in nine years. He eats steak now, but complains to his doctor that because he has no teeth he has to cut it into such small pieces that by the time he gets to the end of the steak, it's cold."
Vorpal: sweet fucking christ, there's just no pleasing some people
Cecil: The moment I heard that from my patient I'd cut his jaw into tiny pieces, warm them up, and choke him with his own jaw. They had it inside of a titanium shield when it was in his back. Why don't they just install titanium teeth though? That'd make this EVEN COOLER.
Bag of chocolate Commandments, bags of fish |5:16 AM|
I've broken a personal rule recently. Never open the bag of chocolate chips meant for baking cookies. Once you've opened the bag and eaten a couple, you don't have enough for a batch of cookies, so you've now got this giant wad of chocolate that you slowly snack on for a couple days. Later I did make cookies, but for a week I was nibbling through a bag of chocolate like some kind of rat, a rat desperate for adult onset diabetes.
There was a sitcom esque turn of events when I finally did make the cookies.
I was mixing the dough while hosting a party, and I was also out of ice. The dough was finished, I was getting ready to start making the dough spheres, but I thought the ice was a pressing enough issue to leave. Precision in the baking of my particular cookie recipe is highly important, at least to me, so I asked my guests to please make the dough spheres, but not to put them in the oven until I got back. Apparently there was some kind of conversation like "Oh, what's he worried about? We can bake the cookies!". Placing the dough spheres on parchment paper, they slid the tray into the oven.
They burned. The cookies, not the guests. Just enough so that they had to be eaten sideways, once again nibbling had ensued. One of the guests felt particularly guilty about the whole situation, and she is one of the reasons I'm writing this silly ass too-long post. I'm pretty sure I set the oven too high, the dial is a little goofy on the 450-475 area. I would have likely burned the cookies myself, given the chance. Replacements were made, and the party continued. The new cookies were ready just in time for the last commercial break and the "moral" of the sitcom episode.
Also on the E/N side of things, I'm impressed at the truthfullness of the marketing of my fish food. These Tetra Flakes claim they will help my fish have brighter and more vibrant colors. Lo and behold, I wasn't just seeing things when I thought my fish looked prettier than usual last week. I bought a bunch of the same kind of fish today, same species I should say, and you can really tell the old from the new. I am now a loyal fish food customer. I expect the new batch will take on the glossy beauty of the senior tetras, and my brand loyalty will have been cemented.
I used to have just one neon tetra that didn't like to school with the others. He'd school, but then he'd be off doing his own fish thing. Now, I have two of these semi-anti-social fish. They hang out with each other, but not with the other fish. Far be it from me to actually assign personalities to animals this stupid, but perhaps they are punk fish, too cool to hang with the rest of those "followers". Perhaps they are goth, nihilist or existentialists; the knowledge of their tiny existence is too great a burden on them. Or just maybe they're too damn stupid to follow the rest of the school. Hopefully the new crab won't eat them.
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Thursday, September 02, 2004
Yes, yes |9:22 AM|
I've been a terrible blogger. Anyhow, as a quick insertion of post, I can show the failed images from my photo journal. The basic idea of a photo journal is that you carry a camera, and take pictures every hour to show what you did with your day. Since the day of the planned photojournal occurred during a work day, most of my images would have been, well,boring as shit.
I've included a couple here as well as some random images to amuse you, the reader.
The construction outside the offices is impressive, in that megalithic way.
This doofus had covered his car in idiotic stickers. He had a bumper sticker for "NOS", some car part manufacturers, a giant spoiler, and of course a type "R" sticker near the front wheel. He may have been joking, but notice he has bought and installed red calipers on his wheels. This is a sad, sad person.
A bunch of folks checked this here blog today, so I'm sorry if I didn't have more to say. Better updates forthcoming.
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