Violent conversations |3:54 PM|
Remarkable. There's a new editor. Hope it doesn't screw up anything up.
Anyhow, while I'm typing here, (I guess this is liveblogging?) I'm stuck in a religous conversation. Well, not me, I deliberately stay the fuck out of such things. It's messy, and I'll try to illustrate why. I should mention that I'm agnostic, so it's going to color my statements.
One participant is a believer in a God. The other is a staunch atheist. The atheist does not have "belief", he does not believe there is no God, but for the simplification of this, I'll refer to his motivations as beliefs as well.
The believer thinks that it is ignorance on the non-believer's part that motivates his questions, that if the non believer is taught enough, he will believe. He thinks that the questions being posed to him are arising from a lack of some realization that he is motivated to help bring about in the atheist.
The atheist feels that religon is evil. Semantic arguments aside, definitions of evil and belief, the atheist cannot stand by and allow the existence of religon. Because of this attitude, he will not back down until the religous person cracks or leaves, or ceases to exist.
They are working in different directions. They are not two sides of a balance or debate, they might as well be two trains on different tracks.
Until an impasse is agreed upon, which is looking less and less likely, then this is merely a waste of oxygen.
Oh shit, he just brought up evolution.
This going to get messy.
I may ask to go home early.
Anyhow, the reason I am not joining in this debate, that I am trying to avoid its very existence, is that any interaction on my part is a losing move. That my co-worker is religous does not affect my ability to work, and so far it has not affected his productivity. Engaging him in a debate can only lead to anger, and lawsuits. While I do not share his beliefs, I do not think myself capable of changing them. If I was asked, then I would tell him what my motivations are, and I would defend it, but I will not debate its merits when compared to their own...UNLESS I thought they were actually seeking information and not attempting to "show me the light". There is a distinct difference, one leads to impasse, the other leads to an exchange of ideas.
A story of aquatic justice |1:46 PM|
Back when I was in 4th grade, our classroom had a fish tank. In this modest tank were a variety of colorful freshwater fish, a catfish or two, a crab, and a medium sized frog. The frog lacked a real name, but I'm going to call him Jumpy. Jumpy was the end result of a previous class project on metamorphosis. We had watched as he grew from a tadpole, to a tadpole with creepy appendages, to a little green frog. Weird stuff. He was added to the tank and fed daily.
I have no idea where we got the tiny crab, Pinchy, I assume he was purchased by the teacher. He lacked immediately obvious educational value. But seeing a little orange crab walk sideways and try to dig little holes in the gravel was fascinating to watch. Pinchy was often trying to escape from the tank, usually by climbing the air tube. Upon reaching the top he would find he had nowhere to go, and a student would helpfully poke him off the air line so he could fall flailing his little pincers to the gravel. I would think he would have cursed like a true sailor, had he vocal chords. Or language.
One day, fish began turning up dead. We couldn't figure out what was killing them, but they were really torn up by whatever was offing the helpless bastards. Since one of Pinchy's hobbys was taking wild swings at the fish, he was the primary suspect. We couldn't deliver a death sentence, however, without proof. The crab had no idea it was living on borrowed time. The crab was likely not even aware it was alive, but that's beside the point.
At some point, an older student the teacher knew pointed out that our particular frog was very predatory, and was likely the actual cause of the fish killings. I still remember how the teacher described its hunting style, which was to "Wait" (She bugged out her eyes) "See something swim past" (Bugged out eyes begin roving) "SLOOOORP!" (A great deal of air sucked into her mouth, as her arms swung out and in to capture the imaginary fish. The process was obviously lethal. After a special separation was put in the tank, the fish stopped dying, and Jumpy was forever in solitary confinement. Pinchy continued to dig his holes. Jumpy continued to swim, alone, in his minimum security prison. Until one day, Pinchy got under the wall. Jumpy (so far as I could tell) swam close to investigate his visitor, and to probably eat him. Pinchy, with skill gained through long months of being a crab, made a sudden swipe, and latched onto to Jumpy's nose. Now, I almost never think an animal in pain is funny. It's usually sickening. But as my friends and I watched the murderous frog and his flailing passenger bounce off of every wall in the tank, we nearly pissed our pants laughing. Pistoning legs, and a crab holding as it was whipped like a flag in a hurricaine, that was pure comedy. What could have possibly passed through the teeny tiny brains of those two? Jumpy, his whole existence now a blazing nostril pain, was probably thinking the frog equivalent of "FUCK FUCK FUCK JUMP MY ONLY CHOICE IS JUMP JUMP FUCK FUCK FUCK".
Meanwhile Pinchy, if anything was going on that ganglia case, was probably not "Oh shit I caught one and now I'm a big bird. Oooooh boy. Only thing I know how to do is pinch, so I'll PINCH HARDER."
Eventually, Pinchy tired or was distracted, and he fell off of his foe, unharmed. As for Jumpy, had it any ability to learn, I'm sure that frog would never have SLOOORP'd again.
Fighting cowardice |11:56 AM|
Amazing how a single concept, or a short phrase can make such a profound difference in one's behavior if you keep it in mind. A recent example of this was my excellent poker profits last game. I kept the idea of having to show Joe all of my hands, and having to face up to his judgment.
Recently though things were getting a bit rough, in terms of me following through on unpleasant tasks. These tasks would build in magnitude and the consequences of not doing them loomed so menacingly that I started ignoring them entirely.
This is not a proper problem solving technique.
When it was pointed out that I was cowering from these tasks, that I was spending so much of my time avoiding them that I was running away, it all clicked. One thing I would hate to be seen as is a coward. I can be a bit too brash and impulsive if I feel as though fear is holding me back. But somehow I had started to fear the tasks of my everyday life. It just sneaked up on me.
Now that I had that realization, life is going much more smoothly, it's almost like magic. A few words, a few thoughts, and the course of behavior is altered radically.
These comments work. Probably. ->
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Monday, July 12, 2004
Tyranny Of Caffeine |9:36 AM|
Damn I feel better. After a horrifying headache and some extremely low energy levels, it seems my body has stopped punishing me for my quitting of caffeine. I feel a hell of a lot better than I have in a long time. I don't have proof that my improved mood is a result of my better diet, but I don't see any other immediate cause. Portal said she could see the difference immediately, especially in my eyes. I cleaned up the apartment, assembled the crazy ass leaning bookshelf and even set up the fishtank. It was a productive weekend, and my mood was swell. That is until I came to work and was in traffic so terrible I fell asleep while waiting. I then spent 20 minutes at the front desk waiting to be processed through the horrific "badge expired" process. I've bitched about it before but goddamn, sometimes it seems it'd be easier to just drive my car through a window than to follow the rules here.
In response here is the text of an actual trouble ticket.
We are having so many issues with this printer just not working properlay and exteremly slow. Color will be off, it may skip a page. I think we have warned it out and if all possible to get it replaced with another color printed will help me out with the number of complaints I get from the managers and my director.
This makes me feel superior to the company in which I work. Take that to mean the people, or the corporation.
Edit: If ever you needed a way to feel superior to your common man, the IMDB Message Boards can certainly provide it.
The Devil at your heels available for purchase. From the National Film Board of Canada. For $40.
Additionally, the comment system may be working for alternative browsers. Or it might not be. If it still isn't working, please trying to go to the archive version of the page (Click the time stamp) and then see if it works. That will provide me with useful information.