Friday, May 21, 2004
The place could use some cheering up. |9:14 AM| The other evening Portal and I went to Kyoto, a Japanese restaraunt with traditional seating arrangements (as in, barefoot, on the floor, on mats. It was a damned good restaraunt, with damn good sushi, but it was damned hard on my white devil legs.
After Portal and I left, we made our way to the parking garage through a small park area. It was a square niche in the side of a skyscraper, about the size of an apartment. They had planted trees and covered the soil with metal, and indirect lighting fixtures. The first thought that crossed my mind was "concrete forest" followed by "How do they water this?". It was the coldest attempt I had seen to bring an air of life to an office complex, hidden around a corner. I tugged Portals arm and we went into our swing dance routine.
"1,2,3 1,2,3 turn."
I'm proud of my tuck turn, and I was happy to be able to perform it with her.
(0) comments
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Political Action |11:44 AM| I was thinking about starting a website called pitchforks and torches. It was going to be a basic list of recent actions by the government that in more brutish times would have had the peasants running for the Bastille.
Instead I just joined the ACLU, and threatened to wear my pants down low.
Legislate that Morality you rat bastards. Not that I'm in favor of baggy pants or low slung pants, I think they're idiotic. But if you want to pass laws governing the clothes that can be worn then I'll wear those low slung pants on the steps of the capital. It'll make it easier for you to kiss my ass.
Also, why the fuck does Tetanus live on rusty objects? Cheap property values?
Update: It turns out that tetanus is ubiquitous. It's just that rusty objects are usually broken down, disused, non-maintained objects, so they're more likely to have sharp edges, and stuff to poke you.
I realized today that along with not liking being managed, I don't like managing people. I like working with equals, I like taking a leadership role when it is called for, I like taking the first weird risks and steps (though Portal would argue that I don't when it comes to invading conventions of deviants). I don't like being in charge of people.
Is this a lack of responsibility on my part? Is it a communications shortcoming, or a lack of experience? Management by consensus would be my preference.
(0) comments
Dumber Conversations |9:14 AM| I'd say that conversations about the weather are among the most pointless topics we currently rely on to make small talk. Though I myself am more guilty of forcing conversations than I'd like to admit, I do my best to stay the fuck away from weather, sports, and TV shows.
I think I have finally heard a dumber conversation than "Howabout this heat?". I was making breakfast at the office this morning...
Videodrome's Iron Will Bagels:
Lenders Plain Medium Sliced Bagels
Single Scrambled Egg Patty
Single Sausage patty
Create sandwich, wrap in 2 paper towels, heat for 90 seconds in microwave. Weep about your current tasks.
3 women, who I assume were admins*, were standing around the snack machine discussing their air conditioners and heaters.
Okay, I can understand discussing the huge energy and cost savings that a properly sealed A/C system or digital schedule thermostat can offer. These women were nodding and "Uh-huh"-ing to descriptions of space heaters and how nice the A/C in their house is.
Admin1: "And we have this nice ceramic heater that sits near the couch..."
Admins 2 and 3: "Uh huh, yeah, mmmm"
Admin1: And it just warms up the place and the air moves around the room and bah blah hosewater...moo mooo
Fuck. Indoor Weather. From "Howabout this heat" to "howabout this space heater" I was hoping that one of them would wake up and say "Holy shit that was the dumbest conversation I have ever had. I am a weaker person if I don't learn from this and never repeat it again."
I know this can't happen. I'm sure at some point I'll hear people discussing the plots to TV shows that all participants had missed.
Side notes:
*Admin is a name for secretary that is less degrading, allegedly.
Threat I wanted to yell at a driver last week:
"Women will weep at the mention of your name when the world learns what I have done to you."
Threat used jokingly in response to patent infringement and intellectual property theft:
"...I'd hate to have to turn your life story into a lesson children learn for centuries to come."
(0) comments
Stupid images |3:41 AM| Edit:
When lamenting, be it for a defeat, the failure of mankind, or that you left $500 worth of cooking supplies including your cookie sheet back at your previous apartment, proper form is a must.
It is important to keep the center of mass over the base of support. The most crucial part of this is taking a small step back as you throw up your arms and yell "DAMN YOU ALL TO HEEEEEEELLL!" as to maintain balance.
I found the end of the sidewalk.
(0) comments
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
I've gotten sloppy |11:11 PM| I don't know what it is for certain, but I'm making stupid mistakes more often while typing now. Reading back through a couple entries I'm seeing really embarrassing typos, and poor sentence structure.
Am I spending less time on the entries, and not noticing? I'm not certain, this is just what's bugging me at the moment. Is it drugs? Am I not sleeping properly again? Maybe I'm just rushing through entries before they slip from my mind.
Tommorow I purchase the Celica, if possible. If I have a chance, I will call the Parallax people and nicely ask for the damn robot. Dammit.
Meanwhile, I have the goddamn Afghanistani Mujadeen mountain warriors of zits right at where my nose meets the rest of my face. It's not big, it's just in the perfect spot to drive me nuts.
My cellphone is still missing.
I might buy that lobster and turn it into a hat just as I threatened to do so 2 years ago.
(0) comments
Tools and what have you |1:11 PM| Vorpal has now learned why I fucking hate curtains, and curtain rods. He apparently spent several hours this past weekend drilling holes into his walls trying to get his rods level.
I have in the past spelled out my hatred of curtains and curtain rods, to which Portal has always expressed dismay and confusion. This is part of an ongoing debate about my house and the miniblinds. Portal agrees that though they are functional, they are ugly, and that I should think about installing some curtains to brighten the place up.
My counter argument is that I would rather have someone break one of my fingers than ever put up curtain rods again. Much less, installing curtain rods over multiple windows, especially in a house in which I would not be spending the rest of my life.
On the same front, I picked up a new, neato rubber mallet. My other mallet was lost in a move at some point, and I needed a replacement, which gave me ample chance to buy a "dead head" mallet. I didn't think you could improve on the technology of "barrel shaped object on handle" but they have done so. With the use of what sounds like sand, the mallet does not bounce back when it strikes something. It's hard to describe how cool this is, you have to try it for yourself. Portal did not understand my childlike glee at hitting stuff until she experienced the joy of rebound-less mallet striking.
I bring this up because I need the mallet to install the giant blue rack Portal has been trying to find a replacement for, as it is atrociously ugly. I am in agreement with this, but nothing beats a Metro-Cart for functionality.
Bad Referrals from the referal logs (Items people searched for on Google and got TPL).
"he made me suck the dog's ass"
"Sulzanti"
"GeekyGrrl"
"Zusty and JP"
"olsen twins fan fiction"
"Rodian Tits"
"How to hack Computers"
(3) comments
Old Yeller |2:20 AM| Among the parts of the day that I had to put my cat to sleep that still bother me, there's one I'm willing to share here. I was not the one that pressed the plunger on the syringe.
I asked to, since I thought it was my job. It seemed like the kind of dirty work that you don't have someone else do. I signed the paper work, and asked if they could show me what to do, but they needed me to hold the cat instead.
I'm not trying to be gruesome, and perhaps it's better I was holding the cat and trying to calm her, shutting her eyes after it was over. But I was the one who made the decision for the cat, I think I should have been the one to carry it out.
I'm not going to get a new cat, or any pet, for at least a year. I know that. If I did get a new cat, I know the kind, a scottish fold. An odd mutant with bent ears, they're apparently highly intelligent...for cats. That still means dumb as rocks but I'll take what I can get.
(0) comments
Monday, May 17, 2004
Yeah, I'm an asshole |1:20 PM| Edit: Fine, fine. Thanks to the incredible debate powers of one B. Sinistar, a former roommate, I am turning on anonymous comments.
Just sign your damn name, alright?
Him: Why the fuck can't I leave anonymous comments?!?!?
Him: That's ASSS.
Me: OH FINE
Him: So much ASSSSS....
(3) comments
Giant Boomerang |3:22 AM| Edited a bit for mostly spelling issues. I left the really bad ADHD signs in there.
Do you recall "bumper stumpers"? Goddamn, that was a stupid goddamn show.
Portal and I went out to the field near the apartment I had to leave last week on 36 hours notice. It had been mowed, and I had a chance to show her what an ant hill looks like during "mating day". But ants were not why we were out there, we were throwing the boomerang.
I was throwing well enough that I pulled on a work glove and tried to catch the damn thing on a return pass, but I couldn't quite pull it off. Practice, practice. Also, we brought out this monstrous, crimson "Spalding Classic" boomerang that I bought for 8 bucks right before Portal gave me my current nice one. The difference between the 8 dollar one and the nice, $20-30 one was shocking. We couldn't even get the red one to turn around during flight. It did make a great noise as it left your hand, though. The damn thing was so heavy that during the throw a horrid "Thwoo...Thwooo" noise was produced, like the air itself was yelling and dodging out of the way. Here is an image of me posing stupidly. Please note the sweat had weighed down my hair. Pictured is the nice boomerang with its slightly...jubilant color scheme. I like it, I just wouldn't bring it into a bar with me.
I'm still messing around on OKcupid. This one chick I was talking to suddenly changed her pictures around, and the "seeing someone, but still friendly" vanished from her profile. From her messages, it became even more clear that she'd broken up with her boy toy. Problem was, her new pictures made her strongly resemble this chick I'd stopped talking to ages ago in less than ideal circumstances. Why was this a problem? Because I couldn't show Vorpal the chick's profile without him implying that she looked just like previously mentioned girl.
Anyhow, today he was bitching about not finding anyone, and I happened to mention this chick. The first thing out he said to me after he looked at her profile was "These pictures remind me of [girl]."
After I explained that I knew he'd say that, there was much guffawing. Here's the chick in question
Here is
The Revolution will not be televised because I feel like it.
(3) comments
The place could use some cheering up. |9:14 AM| The other evening Portal and I went to Kyoto, a Japanese restaraunt with traditional seating arrangements (as in, barefoot, on the floor, on mats. It was a damned good restaraunt, with damn good sushi, but it was damned hard on my white devil legs.
After Portal and I left, we made our way to the parking garage through a small park area. It was a square niche in the side of a skyscraper, about the size of an apartment. They had planted trees and covered the soil with metal, and indirect lighting fixtures. The first thought that crossed my mind was "concrete forest" followed by "How do they water this?". It was the coldest attempt I had seen to bring an air of life to an office complex, hidden around a corner. I tugged Portals arm and we went into our swing dance routine.
"1,2,3 1,2,3 turn."
I'm proud of my tuck turn, and I was happy to be able to perform it with her.
Labels: Mariko
(0) comments
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Political Action |11:44 AM| I was thinking about starting a website called pitchforks and torches. It was going to be a basic list of recent actions by the government that in more brutish times would have had the peasants running for the Bastille.
Instead I just joined the ACLU, and threatened to wear my pants down low.
Legislate that Morality you rat bastards. Not that I'm in favor of baggy pants or low slung pants, I think they're idiotic. But if you want to pass laws governing the clothes that can be worn then I'll wear those low slung pants on the steps of the capital. It'll make it easier for you to kiss my ass.
Also, why the fuck does Tetanus live on rusty objects? Cheap property values?
Update: It turns out that tetanus is ubiquitous. It's just that rusty objects are usually broken down, disused, non-maintained objects, so they're more likely to have sharp edges, and stuff to poke you.
I realized today that along with not liking being managed, I don't like managing people. I like working with equals, I like taking a leadership role when it is called for, I like taking the first weird risks and steps (though Portal would argue that I don't when it comes to invading conventions of deviants). I don't like being in charge of people.
Is this a lack of responsibility on my part? Is it a communications shortcoming, or a lack of experience? Management by consensus would be my preference.
Labels: Politics
(0) comments
Dumber Conversations |9:14 AM| I'd say that conversations about the weather are among the most pointless topics we currently rely on to make small talk. Though I myself am more guilty of forcing conversations than I'd like to admit, I do my best to stay the fuck away from weather, sports, and TV shows.
I think I have finally heard a dumber conversation than "Howabout this heat?". I was making breakfast at the office this morning...
Videodrome's Iron Will Bagels:
Lenders Plain Medium Sliced Bagels
Single Scrambled Egg Patty
Single Sausage patty
Create sandwich, wrap in 2 paper towels, heat for 90 seconds in microwave. Weep about your current tasks.
3 women, who I assume were admins*, were standing around the snack machine discussing their air conditioners and heaters.
Okay, I can understand discussing the huge energy and cost savings that a properly sealed A/C system or digital schedule thermostat can offer. These women were nodding and "Uh-huh"-ing to descriptions of space heaters and how nice the A/C in their house is.
Admin1: "And we have this nice ceramic heater that sits near the couch..."
Admins 2 and 3: "Uh huh, yeah, mmmm"
Admin1: And it just warms up the place and the air moves around the room and bah blah hosewater...moo mooo
Fuck. Indoor Weather. From "Howabout this heat" to "howabout this space heater" I was hoping that one of them would wake up and say "Holy shit that was the dumbest conversation I have ever had. I am a weaker person if I don't learn from this and never repeat it again."
I know this can't happen. I'm sure at some point I'll hear people discussing the plots to TV shows that all participants had missed.
Side notes:
*Admin is a name for secretary that is less degrading, allegedly.
Threat I wanted to yell at a driver last week:
"Women will weep at the mention of your name when the world learns what I have done to you."
Threat used jokingly in response to patent infringement and intellectual property theft:
"...I'd hate to have to turn your life story into a lesson children learn for centuries to come."
Labels: Vid
(0) comments
Stupid images |3:41 AM| Edit:
When lamenting, be it for a defeat, the failure of mankind, or that you left $500 worth of cooking supplies including your cookie sheet back at your previous apartment, proper form is a must.
It is important to keep the center of mass over the base of support. The most crucial part of this is taking a small step back as you throw up your arms and yell "DAMN YOU ALL TO HEEEEEEELLL!" as to maintain balance.
I found the end of the sidewalk.
Labels: Broken Links
(0) comments
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
I've gotten sloppy |11:11 PM| I don't know what it is for certain, but I'm making stupid mistakes more often while typing now. Reading back through a couple entries I'm seeing really embarrassing typos, and poor sentence structure.
Am I spending less time on the entries, and not noticing? I'm not certain, this is just what's bugging me at the moment. Is it drugs? Am I not sleeping properly again? Maybe I'm just rushing through entries before they slip from my mind.
Tommorow I purchase the Celica, if possible. If I have a chance, I will call the Parallax people and nicely ask for the damn robot. Dammit.
Meanwhile, I have the goddamn Afghanistani Mujadeen mountain warriors of zits right at where my nose meets the rest of my face. It's not big, it's just in the perfect spot to drive me nuts.
My cellphone is still missing.
I might buy that lobster and turn it into a hat just as I threatened to do so 2 years ago.
(0) comments
Tools and what have you |1:11 PM| Vorpal has now learned why I fucking hate curtains, and curtain rods. He apparently spent several hours this past weekend drilling holes into his walls trying to get his rods level.
I have in the past spelled out my hatred of curtains and curtain rods, to which Portal has always expressed dismay and confusion. This is part of an ongoing debate about my house and the miniblinds. Portal agrees that though they are functional, they are ugly, and that I should think about installing some curtains to brighten the place up.
My counter argument is that I would rather have someone break one of my fingers than ever put up curtain rods again. Much less, installing curtain rods over multiple windows, especially in a house in which I would not be spending the rest of my life.
On the same front, I picked up a new, neato rubber mallet. My other mallet was lost in a move at some point, and I needed a replacement, which gave me ample chance to buy a "dead head" mallet. I didn't think you could improve on the technology of "barrel shaped object on handle" but they have done so. With the use of what sounds like sand, the mallet does not bounce back when it strikes something. It's hard to describe how cool this is, you have to try it for yourself. Portal did not understand my childlike glee at hitting stuff until she experienced the joy of rebound-less mallet striking.
I bring this up because I need the mallet to install the giant blue rack Portal has been trying to find a replacement for, as it is atrociously ugly. I am in agreement with this, but nothing beats a Metro-Cart for functionality.
Bad Referrals from the referal logs (Items people searched for on Google and got TPL).
"he made me suck the dog's ass"
"Sulzanti"
"GeekyGrrl"
"Zusty and JP"
"olsen twins fan fiction"
"Rodian Tits"
"How to hack Computers"
(3) comments
Old Yeller |2:20 AM| Among the parts of the day that I had to put my cat to sleep that still bother me, there's one I'm willing to share here. I was not the one that pressed the plunger on the syringe.
I asked to, since I thought it was my job. It seemed like the kind of dirty work that you don't have someone else do. I signed the paper work, and asked if they could show me what to do, but they needed me to hold the cat instead.
I'm not trying to be gruesome, and perhaps it's better I was holding the cat and trying to calm her, shutting her eyes after it was over. But I was the one who made the decision for the cat, I think I should have been the one to carry it out.
I'm not going to get a new cat, or any pet, for at least a year. I know that. If I did get a new cat, I know the kind, a scottish fold. An odd mutant with bent ears, they're apparently highly intelligent...for cats. That still means dumb as rocks but I'll take what I can get.
(0) comments
Monday, May 17, 2004
Yeah, I'm an asshole |1:20 PM| Edit: Fine, fine. Thanks to the incredible debate powers of one B. Sinistar, a former roommate, I am turning on anonymous comments.
Just sign your damn name, alright?
Him: Why the fuck can't I leave anonymous comments?!?!?
Him: That's ASSS.
Me: OH FINE
Him: So much ASSSSS....
(3) comments
Giant Boomerang |3:22 AM| Edited a bit for mostly spelling issues. I left the really bad ADHD signs in there.
Do you recall "bumper stumpers"? Goddamn, that was a stupid goddamn show.
Portal and I went out to the field near the apartment I had to leave last week on 36 hours notice. It had been mowed, and I had a chance to show her what an ant hill looks like during "mating day". But ants were not why we were out there, we were throwing the boomerang.
I was throwing well enough that I pulled on a work glove and tried to catch the damn thing on a return pass, but I couldn't quite pull it off. Practice, practice. Also, we brought out this monstrous, crimson "Spalding Classic" boomerang that I bought for 8 bucks right before Portal gave me my current nice one. The difference between the 8 dollar one and the nice, $20-30 one was shocking. We couldn't even get the red one to turn around during flight. It did make a great noise as it left your hand, though. The damn thing was so heavy that during the throw a horrid "Thwoo...Thwooo" noise was produced, like the air itself was yelling and dodging out of the way. Here is an image of me posing stupidly. Please note the sweat had weighed down my hair. Pictured is the nice boomerang with its slightly...jubilant color scheme. I like it, I just wouldn't bring it into a bar with me.
I'm still messing around on OKcupid. This one chick I was talking to suddenly changed her pictures around, and the "seeing someone, but still friendly" vanished from her profile. From her messages, it became even more clear that she'd broken up with her boy toy. Problem was, her new pictures made her strongly resemble this chick I'd stopped talking to ages ago in less than ideal circumstances. Why was this a problem? Because I couldn't show Vorpal the chick's profile without him implying that she looked just like previously mentioned girl.
Anyhow, today he was bitching about not finding anyone, and I happened to mention this chick. The first thing out he said to me after he looked at her profile was "These pictures remind me of [girl]."
After I explained that I knew he'd say that, there was much guffawing. Here's the chick in question
Here is
The Revolution will not be televised because I feel like it.
Labels: AGirl, Broken Links, Hobbies, Mariko
(3) comments
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