2wenty cocks in your ass. |12:54 AM|
This entry will be 15 pages of me cursing out how I seem to magically forget I fucking hate movie theaters just in time to go see a movie, and get slapped in the face by the shit covered dick of the Regal Cinema advertisers.
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Friday, March 12, 2004
American Zombie |8:27 PM|
Portal had a great idea for a slasher movie. "Carne Diem" Seize the Dead.
It'd have to be a very philosophical movie, Exploring such questions as "Why do we fight the zombies?" and "Are we not doomed to be just as dead and walking as they are?"
Between intense gunfights and such.
The other ideas I hashed out are in ICQ log form right now, I'm going to edit it up in a bit, so someone reading this doesn't have to deal with a damn chat log.
WASHINGTON - The U.S. government is investigating reports that some Toyota Camry, Camry Solara and Lexus ES300 vehicles have surged forward without apparent reason, injuring at least five people.
Wow, this sounds AWFULLY familiar.
So does this:
Drivers reported sudden acceleration as they depressed the brake pedal, shifted the transmission or drove at higher speeds using cruise control.
We covered this, didn't we? Audi 5000's. People hit the wrong pedal and smeared their families across the garages.
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Thursday, March 11, 2004
What the hell is a hose pipe? Or a scupper for that matter? |3:31 AM|
Recently I was forced to start singing sea shanties. You see, I had just gotten home from work and one of the most important things to do at that point is answering the call of nature. It all lines up, the urination schedule I mean. Anyhow I had just locked the bathroom door and unzipped when my roommate and a friend of hers went into the kitchen and began preparing food. From their conversation it was clear they were going to be there a while.
I don't care how natural it is to urinate, or that everyone does it. Few people are going to enjoy the resonating sound of a urine stream into a toilet while they try to make a sandwhich. I could obviously not begin urinating without these two people getting the Dolby Surround Sound effect from all the kitchen and bathroom tiles.
Realizing that the situation was not going to get any less ridiculous, and my need to urinate increasing, I began belting out verses of a famous sea shanty.
WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE DRUNKEN SAILOR? WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE DRUNKEN SAILOR?
If take an odd or akward situation to an illogical extreme, it simply becomes absurd. I think it's the better way to live.
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Wednesday, March 10, 2004
I am now properly "Google"-able |10:12 AM|
For a long time, when you put my real name into Google, all that came back was the genealogical club based around my last name, and an old Marathon related website. None of my current email addresses brought up anything useful. In the past there may have been some attempt to obscure my real name (and as you can see it does not appear in this entry) it's not all that difficult to figure it out. However, if someone did search for my name I'd prefer they actually found something about me, so I have edited a past entry to include my name.
Yes, I am a tremendous dork. But I spent a lot of yesterday trying to track down some old friends of mine and they were not properly listed on any damn search engine that I used.
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Do you know me? Then you've likely already seen this image |9:53 AM|
If you've had any contact with me in the last several weeks, then you've seen my welding Goggles. If you were online last night then you were sent the following version of that image made by a poster on SA. Well, I think it's nifty and it's possible someone out there hasn't seen it. So here it is: (Click for a bigger, better version)
|1:45 AM|
The car is in the shop and I am crippled. I must rely on busses, and friends to move beyond short walking distance of my home.
The world becomes much larger when it isn't a 70 mile per hour blur past a window. Duh, you say.
How can we hope to leave a lasting impression on this planet when we can't even walk across the tiniest parts of it without assistance? Barring thousand mile long walls, or nuclear weapons, of course.
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|9:55 AM|
I want a Dremel tool, since they're so damned handy to have around. I don't want to blow money on it. I spend too much money on Pizza. If I can go 5 weeks without Pizza, I should be able to turn the savings into a Dremel starter kit.
I filed my taxes. I'm getting a refund of over two thousand dollars. That should come in fairly handy.
The car is going into the shop today. I hope they can fix it quickly, I'm going to be riding the bus to see Portal. Whoopty do.
I had a grand time in Dallas. Saw Sinclair, and the rest of the Dallas crew. Sinclair is scramming from Dallas. His magazine got fucked over by its advertising guy on the first couple issues, so now he's moving on, looking for work. When we said our goodbyes, we kept up the policy of short farewells, as is what I prefer. Or at least, I strive for. I know I'll run into him again, sooner or later. Hell, I may ask him to put in a good word for me at a game review magazine, you know, one at which I haven't burned my bridges.
