Saturday, December 27, 2003
Stupid Shit you do with stolen goods |6:27 PM| I still have this stolen bank capsule. As pictured below, it makes a crappy hat. But Vorpal and I tried to find something to do with it last night.
I used it to pay for a late meal and made a "Fwoomp" noise while giving it to the waitress. (I tipped her well). Fwoomp 7 megs
The capsule was taken to the pharmacy with "Prozac" written on it and I complained that I wasn't that depressed.
The video of that is a little big so until I or Vorpal has edited it down, I give you a video of me trying to pogo-stick after eating WAY too much pizza. No vomitting, I'm sorry. (7 megs)
It's functionality as a soapbox was tested, I tried to recite the Gettysburg address before FAILURE. soapbox 756K
We filled it with glow sticks and a ninja turtle but that kind of sucked.
Vorpal tried to stuff his cat into it.
(0) comments
Vorpal, Cecil and the secret of the...booze |6:49 AM|
This image doesn't make much sense, but when I get some sleep I'll be sure to post something that explains it.
(0) comments
Friday, December 26, 2003
A pogostick to terrify God |5:06 PM| The Pogostick compressed
Ready
Hidden pump in bottom
(0) comments
Mushy Stuff |4:55 AM| Despite the all the family togetherness, the food, the presents and the general attitude of "Let's be nice to each other", the best part of this Christmas, to me, was a very sappy moment. Portal and I were curled up together on the couch at her parent's place, watching (but not intently) the first non-Christmas based show I could find.
Sitting there, our arms wrapped around each other, I could feel her body heat through her shirt, the subtle movements of her breathing, the motion of cloth against skin and bra strap. It was wonderful, to be sharing a time and place with someone you trust and love, to be at total ease. I was relaxed enough where I could appreciate the less complicated joys.
Mushy, Cliche'd, bah, to hell with worrying about it. I was hugging a loved one, who was hugging me back, and for a few minutes all was right in the world.
I suppose it helps that she got me the most advanced pogo stick I have ever seen in my life, but that's probably up to the poets.
(0) comments
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Wreindeer Games |1:12 AM| I had to get Vorpal a gift and properly show my appreciation for all his hard work. (Drinking).
So I broke into his pad with a key he'd lent me about a year ago or so. I can't keep my bills paid but I can hold onto a key I don't need but once a year.
His gift is still a suprise because I left the damn thing at Portal's place when I was making the wrench reindeer. I just left him some books he'd left in my car. Merry Fucking Christmas.
Christmas miracle complete, I leave.
(0) comments
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Merry Christmas |2:42 PM|
(0) comments
Rebates? Next you'll say Santa Claus is real |12:46 AM| Hey, Symantec just sent me a rebate check. Took them 6 weeks, just like they said. Wow, rebates DO happen! I sent off for the rebate of $50 for upgrading from one version of Norton Utilities to the latest (this was back when I was fixing some issues on Portal's Macintosh) and whadda you know, they actually did what they claimed. They've certainly earned some additional loyalty from me.
Also, in a tremendously caveman moment, I failed at describing some Christmas lights to Portal as we were driving along. I noticed some pillars covered in bright red lights, creating a cone effect, and wanted to say how striking they were to me. Instead, I opened my mouth and said "reeeeeeeed".
Oops. My goddamn internal monologue went audible.
(0) comments
Monday, December 22, 2003
Good Ideas, Saving Christmas |10:55 PM| Trillian: We have about twelve customers expecting pianos to be delivered tomorrow so that they can be surprise Christmas gifts. Said pianos were supposed to arrive here weeks ago, but actually have not left Korea yet. We are so screwed.
Cecil: Yep.
Trillian: I have given out the boss' cell number to each of the customers since I have no intention of breaking the news myself.
I'm a bad employee.
Cecil: What you should do is go out to the toy store and buy minature pianos.
Cecil:You give them their mini-pianos so they can give them on Christmas to their family and say "It'll grow"
Trillian: Hahahahaha
Cecil: Do you think the customers would dig that? Or would they be insulted? (This is assuming you explain that the pianos have not left Korea yet)
Trillian: I actually think it's a great idea. Because the real issue with a number of these deliveries is that the people have kids, and the kids are expecting a piano.
Trillian: I just told the other staff. We're totally going to do it.
...
Trillian: The piano movers have been dispatched to buy tiny pianos and flower pots.
Image to follow when I get it.
(0) comments
I'm a bad blog reader |2:35 PM| At about the same time that I stopped updating for a while, I stopped reading other blogs. I'm sort of getting back into the swing of it, but look what I missed:
Married?
For the record, that is awesome, and the term society hack is fucking awesome.
Well documented on the internet
First mention. It's so wonderfully nonchalant.
Some more
Sevencubed Long time readers will realize this is a friend of JP's. Also, he helped make the pictograms.
A strange Cartoon done by JP's ex.
(0) comments
Sunday, December 21, 2003
My good heart will be the death of me |2:09 PM| Saturday was filled with Good Samaritan acts. I am a proud person, so I will relate them here.
On the 183 flyover here in town, a car had tire blowout. They were now trapped on this bridge with very little room, and people drive like maniacs up there.
incomplete
Karma at the haircutters
I was at the barbershop, finally taking care of hair that was beginning to resemble a bird's nest. (Portal Star had recently said "You're getting a mullet..." and I got to the barbershop as quickly as possible.) While I was there, a guy was paying for his haircut, and as he was handed his change he spoke up.
Doofus: "Hey, you didn't offer me any hair products, I want my haircut for free."
The barber was this tiny, skinny Asian woman who seemed flabbergasted. She briefly debated with him about how they'd discussed products, and the guy disagreed that it was the same as suggesting a purchase. The manager (Who was getting a hair cut at the same time) said that yes, he would get his haircut for free. It was the first time the shop had had to give a haircut away.
Doofus: "Nothing personal!" (He exclaimed) "I liked the haircut. I'll come back!"
Clearly the guy was trying to justify his status as an asshole. It wasn't him, it was the rules! It took them some time to make the register cough up the cash, and give him the receipt for zero. He left, and I walked up to the counter. I asked how much the haircut had been, and tried to pay for it. They refused, and I insisted. They still refused. The woman actually gave me a hug, saying I was such a nice guy. The conversation in the shop became about how you always get one good guy, and one bad guy. The bad guy here was going "be cursed with bad karma" and "has an appointment for a coloring next week".
Christ, I don't want to be that guy.
(0) comments
Stupid Shit you do with stolen goods |6:27 PM| I still have this stolen bank capsule. As pictured below, it makes a crappy hat. But Vorpal and I tried to find something to do with it last night.
I used it to pay for a late meal and made a "Fwoomp" noise while giving it to the waitress. (I tipped her well). Fwoomp 7 megs
The capsule was taken to the pharmacy with "Prozac" written on it and I complained that I wasn't that depressed.
The video of that is a little big so until I or Vorpal has edited it down, I give you a video of me trying to pogo-stick after eating WAY too much pizza. No vomitting, I'm sorry. (7 megs)
It's functionality as a soapbox was tested, I tried to recite the Gettysburg address before FAILURE. soapbox 756K
We filled it with glow sticks and a ninja turtle but that kind of sucked.
Vorpal tried to stuff his cat into it.
Labels: Broken Links, Pictures, Vorpal
(0) comments
Vorpal, Cecil and the secret of the...booze |6:49 AM|
This image doesn't make much sense, but when I get some sleep I'll be sure to post something that explains it.
Labels: Broken Links
(0) comments
Friday, December 26, 2003
A pogostick to terrify God |5:06 PM| The Pogostick compressed
Ready
Hidden pump in bottom
(0) comments
Mushy Stuff |4:55 AM| Despite the all the family togetherness, the food, the presents and the general attitude of "Let's be nice to each other", the best part of this Christmas, to me, was a very sappy moment. Portal and I were curled up together on the couch at her parent's place, watching (but not intently) the first non-Christmas based show I could find.
Sitting there, our arms wrapped around each other, I could feel her body heat through her shirt, the subtle movements of her breathing, the motion of cloth against skin and bra strap. It was wonderful, to be sharing a time and place with someone you trust and love, to be at total ease. I was relaxed enough where I could appreciate the less complicated joys.
Mushy, Cliche'd, bah, to hell with worrying about it. I was hugging a loved one, who was hugging me back, and for a few minutes all was right in the world.
I suppose it helps that she got me the most advanced pogo stick I have ever seen in my life, but that's probably up to the poets.
Labels: Mariko
(0) comments
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Wreindeer Games |1:12 AM| I had to get Vorpal a gift and properly show my appreciation for all his hard work. (Drinking).
So I broke into his pad with a key he'd lent me about a year ago or so. I can't keep my bills paid but I can hold onto a key I don't need but once a year.
His gift is still a suprise because I left the damn thing at Portal's place when I was making the wrench reindeer. I just left him some books he'd left in my car. Merry Fucking Christmas.
Christmas miracle complete, I leave.
Labels: Broken Links, DerekD, Pictures
(0) comments
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Merry Christmas |2:42 PM|
(0) comments
Rebates? Next you'll say Santa Claus is real |12:46 AM| Hey, Symantec just sent me a rebate check. Took them 6 weeks, just like they said. Wow, rebates DO happen! I sent off for the rebate of $50 for upgrading from one version of Norton Utilities to the latest (this was back when I was fixing some issues on Portal's Macintosh) and whadda you know, they actually did what they claimed. They've certainly earned some additional loyalty from me.
Also, in a tremendously caveman moment, I failed at describing some Christmas lights to Portal as we were driving along. I noticed some pillars covered in bright red lights, creating a cone effect, and wanted to say how striking they were to me. Instead, I opened my mouth and said "reeeeeeeed".
Oops. My goddamn internal monologue went audible.
Labels: Mariko
(0) comments
Monday, December 22, 2003
Good Ideas, Saving Christmas |10:55 PM| Trillian: We have about twelve customers expecting pianos to be delivered tomorrow so that they can be surprise Christmas gifts. Said pianos were supposed to arrive here weeks ago, but actually have not left Korea yet. We are so screwed.
Cecil: Yep.
Trillian: I have given out the boss' cell number to each of the customers since I have no intention of breaking the news myself.
I'm a bad employee.
Cecil: What you should do is go out to the toy store and buy minature pianos.
Cecil:You give them their mini-pianos so they can give them on Christmas to their family and say "It'll grow"
Trillian: Hahahahaha
Cecil: Do you think the customers would dig that? Or would they be insulted? (This is assuming you explain that the pianos have not left Korea yet)
Trillian: I actually think it's a great idea. Because the real issue with a number of these deliveries is that the people have kids, and the kids are expecting a piano.
Trillian: I just told the other staff. We're totally going to do it.
...
Trillian: The piano movers have been dispatched to buy tiny pianos and flower pots.
Image to follow when I get it.
Labels: Trillian
(0) comments
I'm a bad blog reader |2:35 PM| At about the same time that I stopped updating for a while, I stopped reading other blogs. I'm sort of getting back into the swing of it, but look what I missed:
Married?
For the record, that is awesome, and the term society hack is fucking awesome.
Well documented on the internet
First mention. It's so wonderfully nonchalant.
Some more
Sevencubed Long time readers will realize this is a friend of JP's. Also, he helped make the pictograms.
A strange Cartoon done by JP's ex.
Labels: Broken Links, Zusty
(0) comments
Sunday, December 21, 2003
My good heart will be the death of me |2:09 PM| Saturday was filled with Good Samaritan acts. I am a proud person, so I will relate them here.
On the 183 flyover here in town, a car had tire blowout. They were now trapped on this bridge with very little room, and people drive like maniacs up there.
incomplete
Karma at the haircutters
I was at the barbershop, finally taking care of hair that was beginning to resemble a bird's nest. (Portal Star had recently said "You're getting a mullet..." and I got to the barbershop as quickly as possible.) While I was there, a guy was paying for his haircut, and as he was handed his change he spoke up.
Doofus: "Hey, you didn't offer me any hair products, I want my haircut for free."
The barber was this tiny, skinny Asian woman who seemed flabbergasted. She briefly debated with him about how they'd discussed products, and the guy disagreed that it was the same as suggesting a purchase. The manager (Who was getting a hair cut at the same time) said that yes, he would get his haircut for free. It was the first time the shop had had to give a haircut away.
Doofus: "Nothing personal!" (He exclaimed) "I liked the haircut. I'll come back!"
Clearly the guy was trying to justify his status as an asshole. It wasn't him, it was the rules! It took them some time to make the register cough up the cash, and give him the receipt for zero. He left, and I walked up to the counter. I asked how much the haircut had been, and tried to pay for it. They refused, and I insisted. They still refused. The woman actually gave me a hug, saying I was such a nice guy. The conversation in the shop became about how you always get one good guy, and one bad guy. The bad guy here was going "be cursed with bad karma" and "has an appointment for a coloring next week".
Christ, I don't want to be that guy.
(0) comments
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