She digs the villians |12:46 PM|
PortalStar related to me recently about how she finds herself attracted to the villians in movies, never the hero. She did clarify that it was only the more grandiose, stylish villians, not the truly evil and despicable ones. At that point we started to review the traits I share with your typical, over-the-top villian.
I'm not often beaten or defeated, I'm usually "Foiled".
As a follow up to the previous statement, I often yell "CURSES" and sometimes I mean it.
All my ideas quickly turn into absurdly complicated schemes to perform some task. ("Let's build a shipping company out of giant blimps in order to make the roads safer!"),
My superiority complex and corresponding ego (Which I am keeping in check most of the time)
And of course, my involuntary and frightening cackle.
I'm still classified as a good guy, but I've still got a bunch of the "bad guy" traits. Apparently, my habit of "Steepling" my fingers (holding them tip to tip, palms apart) is a very villian-esque action.
I'll try to get a recording of my cackle again, but it's never as good when I try to do it on cue.Labels: Mariko
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|12:28 AM|
Helluva weekend. This whole week has been incredible. Work is getting harder, but PortalStar and I have been having a blast. She seemed to dig geocaching, so hopefully tomorrow we'll be going with Vid when we hit some new spots. I was helping her with her website (which is not yet up) on Friday afternoon, and goddamn did I get useless. She has a bed, which is something I still personally lack. I stretched out across it, buried myself in fine linen, and became a breathing lump of lazy. She'd ask me for opinions and I'd move at the speed of mammal evolution in order to view the screen, discuss it with her, and make a suggestion. The moment there was a load progress bar or a restart, I'd turn back into part of the bed at the speed of light.
Finally getting all the images judged, I was able to nap until it was time for Vorpal's brother's 21st birthday party. I was invited because I'm a friend, and also because I am keeper of "Molly" a beer tap. Helpful thing to have around. It had been lent around the block recently, and thus was in someone else's possesion that night. I had to sneak into an apartment complex, jump on to a patio, and then....politely knock on the window because the people living there were home. (I thought they weren't going to be there). I'm glad I didn't get shot. After that rescue mission, we headed to the party.
The party is worth its own entry, so it's below this entry, despite being chronologically later.Labels: Mariko
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The party: A celebration of Piss Chugging |12:27 AM|
Quite a few months ago, Vorpal was drafted into service to the cause of making an asshole drink piss. Vorpal went to quite a bit of effort, including pissing into a measuring cup, straining out ice, yadda yadda. In the end, the jerk off thought he was drinking a new, chilled bottle of beer. Contents: Vorpal Urine.
At this party, we had prior warning of the asshole's arrival. A plan was set in motion, involving the previous incident's preparation (The chilling of piss, among other things) and the organization of a beer chugging contest. The contest was a sham, it was all meant to get the guy to not only drink urine, but to chug it.
You can see the video of him doing it here:
No sound version of piss chugging
The video with sound and commentary (As well as an interview with mister Piss tongue in which I'm standing behind him with a sign that says "PISS!" and making drinking gestures) will be up in the near future.
Before you feel bad for the guy, realize that he was an asshole. A telling quote:
"I don't fuck 'em and leave 'em! I fuck 'em, fuck 'em again, and then leave 'em! HAR HAR!"
Anyhow, his new nickname is "2.0".
Speaking of piss, I "won" a metaphorical pissing match. Portal happened to see this, and thought it was cute. I was walking from the kitchen with a coke in my hand, when a fantastically drunk party-goer stood in front of me. He pointed out that my drink was non-alcoholic.
Cecil: "I'm a designated driver."
Drunk: "So?"
Cecil: "I'm taking 5 people home."
Drunk: (Becoming more confrontational) "So?"
Cecil: "I'm not drinking."
That's when he began fumbling at his pocket and making vague
"Why should I let you not drink?" statements, as well as something to the effect of
"What are you going to do about it/this?"
His body language had started to take on an air of "I want to fight." I assumed he had a weapon at that point, so while staring him down I did something stupid. I said "Because I'm trained in a variety of ways to kill you."
That's when he pulled the knife. Not looking at the knife, and locking eyes with him, I said "Why don't you put the knife away?" Which could have been easily translated as "You have now threatened me with a weapon. You have crossed a line, and if I feel like it, I will put that knife into your eye."
He hesitated, broke eye contact, and then put the knife away. I offered my hand for a shake, to show no hard feelings, and to express dominance. Pulling a weapon really steps over a line, but no one needed to be stabbed. Vorpal's brother would have been pissed if I got blood on his floor.
Despite the knife, Portal thought the whole situation was "cute" in a "really stupid testosterone way" (Not a quote).
I may have mentioned Punk Rock Girl in the past. She's the one with the forked tongue, of which I now have pictures. As the party wound down, Vorpal and I executed a stunning job of lay-enabling for our pal Rockstar Casey (with Punk Rock Chick being the target, of course). I managed to extract her from her current ride, make sure she was riding with my group, and get her and Casey to his car. It was like a ballet, but with more sex at the end.
After dropping off Casey and Punk Rock at his car, I was driving Portal home. On the side of the road were some folks pushing a car and waving for assistance. Forgetting for a second that I had someone in the car with me, I pulled over. Long story short, I'm now the new owner of a gas can, as the nearest gas station wouldn't lend me one, they'd only sell it to me. I helped the stranded folks without endangering Portal, and I now can carry up to a FULL EXTRA GALLON of gasoline in my trunk. It's tough to do the good Samaritan actions when you won't trust the people you're helping. I didn't let them ride in my car (I wouldn't have even if Portal hadn't been in the car) and I didn't want to leave Portal in the car while I helped push their vehicle up the hill. In the end, buying them a can of gas was the safest route.
Gas can, beer tap, jumper cables. I'm a traveling solution, baby.Labels: Broken Links, Pictures, Vorpal
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