Gas Station Woes |7:28 PM| I had a dream. I was trying to refuel my car, and simply couldn't finish. First, the car wasn't close enough to the pump, but I was out of gas, so I had to push the car into position, and I kept overshooting. Then, the hose got pinched, and broke open, spraying gasoline all over the car. I was holding it with one hand, trying to keep the nozzle in the car with the other. The pressure of the gasoline was so high it was pushing it out of the car. Then the gas tank cracked open, and started filling the car's passenger compartment. After I patched that leak, the pump's indicator meter suddenly went haywire, so I had no idea how much gas had gone into the car. At this point, I surrendered, and went inside to the gas station. An undercover cop gave me gas money, which I blew on candy corn and half a gallon of milk.
The Moral: This sucks.
Right, on to reality. Since I finally got my W2 from Time Warner this past Wedensday, I was able to do my taxes. With a $1,300 refund on the way in 10-16 days, I might just be able to pull this all off. Off that $1,300, only $300 of it is mine. However, that's enough to make what money I have left work. I may even be able to pay rent on time, and keep the power from being shut off. That GODDAMN arrest warrant is another thing entirely. Christ almighty. To hell with this Bullshit. I'm calling in some connections and getting another job. I could work at the cafe at Barnes and Noble. I might work at road runner* for a couple nights on a late shift, I might work and Williams and Sonoma. I realized last night the reason I haven't gotten a second job is that my ego prevented me from getting a job that was too far "below" my current one. Well, fuck this.
At least a retail job wouldn't dick me around for a year. Yeah, I can't believe it either. But my badge stopped working a few days ago, thus signalling I'd been at Dell for a year. The badges shut off after that long automatically. To tell you the truth, I had no idea.
One good thing about a second job is that I'll be able to consistently pay for medication and insurance. Gosh, I'm feeling better about this already.
*HA HAHA HAH AHAHH HAHAHA
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Friday, May 24, 2002
You've gotta believe! |7:11 AM| Christ almighty. It's 7am. I'm sitting here in boxers and a t-shirt with a gallon container of Orange Juice next to me. You see, my power is about to be cut off again. So, I'm having to eat everything in the goddamn fridge. That includes a frozen pizza, I'm nearly done with that. I've still got some cold cuts of Ham to work on, bagels will do nicely with those. I simply don't have the money to keep the power on. And I still don't have my Adderall. Christ, this sucks. I'm going to turn the A/C all the way up before I leave for work, that way it'll be going all fucking day. When I get back to a strangely quiet house, it will at least be chilly.
Man, all that butter is going to go bad. But fuck that, I'm not going to eat raw sticks of butter. It's my $2, it can melt, run out of the container, and rot before I'll stick a entire butter cube into my mouth.
I also had to do a bunch of dishes, and some laundry, because you need power for that. I shaved, since it'll be too dark to do so later. I'm really pissed off that my plant's grow light will be off. I guess I'll just have to put them outside and hope the birds and lizards don't eat the fuck out of them.
I guess I should go to work at this point.
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Thursday, May 23, 2002
Chest Stars |2:11 AM| Tommorow is payday, tommorow I must make sure I pay rent before I do anything else. Anything else would be "stupid".
This link seems interesting, but it could be full of shit.
When I'm walking around my house in the dark I'm usually looking a bit towards the ground to avoid tripping over stuff. Sometimes I catch a reflection of light off these chunks of metal in my chest, and it's like a little twinkling star.
Maybe not. It's late, I'm tired.
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Tuesday, May 21, 2002
Sweatin |12:37 PM| Last night was the going away party for my friend Allen. He's going to Hawaii, for reasons that have not been made totally clear to me. Allen is a great guy, this must be made clear, because in any description of Allen you must include "great guy" and "flamingly homosexual". We spent the evening at two gay bars, one of which was having its weekly ladies' night. Unfortunately for me, every lady in the club was not at ALL interested in me, seeing as I am male. One woman I was looking at confirmed her status as "lesbian" when I noticed her staring at a friend of mine's ass, this friend happens to be very much of the feminine gender.
Though I was totally out of luck on the female side, I was hit on by a male friend of Allen's. We were talking for a while, it took me a bit to realize he was hitting on me, it was the following exchange that tipped me off:
Guy: "there's only one cute guy in this club, and word has it he's straight"
Cecil: "Really, where is he?"
Guy: "Well, he was downstairs earlier, but now he's standing here"
Cecil: "Oooh. Oh. oooooh. uh"
I was flattered.
I am covered in a thin layer of dried sweat at the moment, I was unable to get a shower this morning and it's not exactly a nice temperature here in the office.
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Monday, May 20, 2002
E3 Blues |12:11 PM| I guess E3 is coming up, or is soon, or something. I'm just generally pissy about the whole deal. It appears that very few of my friends are headed out there, so post-event jealousy won't be an issue. It's not like I can afford a vacation, though. Still working through the current bills, but the end is near.
I was foiled again, drugs wise, over the weekend. Such a drag. I have to deal with my apartment complex today, to keep my current apartment. My rent is going up.
Goddammit, I don't want to bitch and whine, but this is really starting to piss me off. I got that raise, but I'm beginning to think it's totally fucking pointless to stay here. At this job, I mean. Fuck, it'd be easier to go start a new fucking life than it would to continue to slog through this bullshit day in and day out.
Wait, wait, I'm just tired. I'll chill out and get my bearings and keep moving once again. Only thing to keep doing is to finish this period out and move on to the next one.
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Sunday, May 19, 2002
fired and tired. |10:23 PM| Jackee/Artfag took me off her staff of updaters. I guess it was only a matter of time, but I'm not overjoyed. This weekend didn't accomplish much, but I am about to go make the damn cookies, and possibly clean this shithole of a house up a bit. Luckily, the icemaker in my fridge is functional, so I can ship some of the cookies to Sulz.
I wish I had more to say. I wish I could say I had created something or done something. All I did was live.
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