|2:47 PM|
I slept way too long. Now it's time for breakfast. I'm tremendously hungry, I think. My uncle's 50th birthday celebration is today, and neither of his sons are showing up. I'm being considerate enough to go, I hope the crazy son doesn't come after me.
Here's a tip for making eggs: keep a lower stove temperature. Sure, you'll get them done faster at a higher level, but they'll be crumbly. Also, bacon can be made in the microwave if you put down 2 paper towels. It fries in its own grease. Yum!
I dreamed some damned rock band had set up for their video shoot in the middle of a busy road, and it was causing all manner of accidents. Then a bunch of drunk drivers all rammed into one another, and they stumbled out to vomit. The stench made me sick, and I had to go puke in the bushes with some friends of mine. That's a new one, dream wise...stench.
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Thursday, May 09, 2002
Because I love you, I can never be with you. |3:01 PM|
This is probably how it starts. On Friday, I got my nipples pierced. On Monday night, I went all in on a hand of poker that every part of me knew I was going to lose. I went from making a profit to losing everything without breaking a sweat. I laughed all the way home. I'm taking bigger risks, I'm doing odder things. I just wanted to know what it felt like to blow all of the damn money. I wanted to experience the most painful piercing. In a couple weeks, I'm going skydiving and to hell with being strapped to some guy. I'm going to jump alone.
Those previous actions may be self destructive, but they aren't the only things I've been up to in my free time. Tonight I'm scouting out a proper viewing area for the alignment of the planets. The best time to view the alignment is a week from yesterday, at dusk. That means I need a place that is less than 2 hours or so from work, including the "get the hell outha town" time. This one's going to be tough. I want to take the telescope out, but I'm worried about NOT pointing it at the GODDAMN SUN. I'll keep it locked up until the sun is gone. I'll need a compass.
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Tuesday, May 07, 2002
Poker and Oysters |3:08 PM|
Some friends of mine got 100 oysters for $18. All we had to do was shuck them.
Easy. At first.
I am now a oyster shucker. Way too many things about oysters can be interpreted as sex jokes. "Just pull it open, use the hole"
"Never say you can't find the hole"
"You have to find the sweet spot to get the job done"
"Just stick it[the knife] in and twist. It's a twisting motion"
In order to shuck an oyster, you must first aquire an oyster knife. Yes, it's important to use that specific knife. It is much thicker, and properly shaped. Now, use a towel, since a slip of the knife can become a gash in the hand. ("Chainsaws can't tell the difference between a tree and your leg") Rinse the oyster in cold water. Keep the oysters on ice at all times that it is not actually being prepared or eaten. Now, cup the oyster's round end in your hand, and insert the knife into the small gap where the shell halves meet. That's the muscle that holds the mussel together. Push the knife in, begin twisting until the shell pops. The shell will suddenly pop open when the muscle is severed. Now, move the knife forward to sever the oyster from the top of its shell. Ditch the top shell, keep as much juice in the lower shell, and put it on ice. Eat on crackers, with cocktail sauce, or plain down your throat.
It was quite a feast when it was all over. The 4 of us went through something like 40 oysters.
When I was taking the HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE oyster shots, I had to use mental tricks that someone taught me about, well, giving head. I couldn't think about the consistency or the appearence of what I was shoving down my throat. Just open your throat, let it slide. Gah. I'm glad I'm a pill popper.
Never do Oyster shots. They are a waste of an oyster and good tequila.
Meme Pathfinder |1:30 PM|
It's been an exciting week, really. I'll start re-capping the week soon.(on the appropriate dates, no less. Look below this post) In somewhat big news, my plants are still alive. That's right, my plants. Nothing else to report.
The Best Website. I want this website translated, and this guy needs to write for TPL.
As far as meme paths go, I got this Satire Wire Link that I found tremendously amusing from The Flangy News (which has a pretty good review of Spiderman). The Flangy News was linked from Zusty's blog, which I am sadly not allowed to link to from here. Along the way I picked up this Highly popular 80% Company link.
I think if I was to go into research, the movement of ideas through non mass media channels would be my field of study. See: The Viral Factory
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