Saturday, February 16, 2002
|4:09 AM|
Everything is cycles. Tonight I broke even at poker despite being $15 up at one point. I was yet again a couple weeks away from really getting it together, and suddenly I'm out of luck. It's not something that I planned.
I'm going to grow some daisies. I'll get a window box, and a watering can, and pretend like it's tough work. It'll produce something beautiful.

Another project is the incredible "Monkey Rail" computer. It's a flat panel equipped, fully propreitary Monorail computer that shouldn't even run any of the OS's I have, oh, and it's in 40 pieces in a box marked "root beer". This one's going to be fun.

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Friday, February 15, 2002
Melancholy Renewed. |6:24 PM|
FUCK.

That's what I say.

FUCK.

For good measure. So I'm mailing a CD burner and a camera to some folks I said that I'd mail said gear to some time ago, but thanks to Austin Traffic it was nigh impossible to get this small task accomplished until today. So what happens when I'm pulling out of the damned parking lot? Red and Blue lights in my rear view mirror. Now, let's back up about 2 years ago to when I first started having financial issues.

Cecil: "You want HOW MUCH for insurance? Do I get tickets to MARS for that kind of money? I've never had a wreck in my life!"

So, as you can imagine, I don't have insurance. Which means, I don't have a safety inspection, which means, I don't have my car registered.
Which means....somewhere in the neighborhood of $600 in fines and assorted fees. Granted, that is less than the deposit and one month's payment on any car insurance I wanted, but at this key juncture this is really going to suck. So, I can get half of this dismissed, that is, if I get insurance, get my car inspected, get my car registered, and then get my ass to the police station to get everything signed off. In other words, I'm totally screwed. 10 days to raise, at the minimum, $700. I have....$400, and $200 needs to go the power company or out go the lights until I can raise an additional $700.
Fuck. Fuck.
It's actually kind of a relief to finally get nailed, since I no longer have to worry about getting nailed for no-legal-anything. However, I was mere WEEKS away from financial solvency. For real this time! The application to get my boss hired is in the mail, and I'm suppossed to be hired a few weeks after if all goes according to plan. It was all...so...close! GODDAMMIT.

Well, I'm out of swear words. Seeing as how I'm totally fucked, I'm going to go play poker and drink whiskey. Wait, I can't drink more than a shot...oh fuck it all.

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Melancholy Revoked |11:51 AM|
I'm debating going to a public $1-$2 poker game on saturday. This previous Sunday the guy I normally play poker with went to a $2-$4 and "had his balls placed on a chopping block" and then they were summarilly removed. I don't think I want to toss away $40, but I may show up and watch it, just to get an idea of what's going on. If I feel comfortable then I'll play.
Otherwise, that money is going to go to a plant, or something else to brighten my apartment up a bit. Maybe some daisies. Hmmm....

Car payments, electric company payments, food has been purchased...and money is left in the bank. Hot damn.

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I pull stitches out with my teeth |11:08 AM|
The man my department reports to at Dell used to be portrayed rather poorly. Now that we've got most of this printin' situation hammered out, he isn't looking like such a bad character anymore. He's just fully policy driven. I guess the difference is that now we know there really isn't malice involved. This isn't really an apology, since I don't think he'll ever, ever, hear about this page, but I felt that I had to paint him less as a bad guy.

I was at a computer store a little while ago, and I observed a couple total goddamn losers. One was the guy running the Apple store. He looked about 30, with a sun leathered face that wrinkled like someone had balled up a napkin and then done a piss poor job flattening it out. He was hitting on a girl that couldn't have been more than 18, who obviously wanted to be anywhere else. Both were store employees, the girl was walking a slow loop up and down the aisles of software. Her unsure gait made it clear she couldn't figure out a proper excuse to walk away from the guy, and she kept tracing lines with her finger across the endcaps, obviously hoping to get caught up in the task of cleaning them. The apple guy's body language was trying to be non threatening but instead emitted pure sleaziness, and from what snatches of conversation I happened to hear while I was looking at some memory upgrades made it clear the guy was talking all things Apple and Apple sales. I'm not saying this guy was a loser for being a fan of Apple, but he seemed to think that merely spewing the same stupid technology crapola that he got a hard on for would cause the girl to tear off her clothes and demand to be ravaged "RIGHT HERE!. Near the GARDENING software!". It was educational, in the sense that it pounded home the point "know your audience" and "don't hit on women half your age". I think the partial encounter has stuck with me because I felt the need to go slap the guy around, if only to let the girl escape. (She later pounced on the first customer looking at monitors with a "Hi-do-you-need-any-help?" leaving the apple guy to go rub up against an Imac)

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Thursday, February 14, 2002
|12:41 PM|
Ah, another morning, another day regretting eating all of the real food the night before. Oh, and it's valentines day. Wait...wait, I think....NO! I'm still alone. V-day can ram me right in the ass, just like the year before, and the year before that, and actually every valentines day except sophomore year of high school, during which my best friend asked permission to date my ex. That one was entertaining.

I was in a poker game last night, down to less than $5 by the time Vorpal called it quits. He probably assumes (for good reason) that I was knocked out of the game shortly thereafter. I wasn't. I made all my money back and more, walking out with $38. Not exactly the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but when your arms feel week from losing $5 on a single hand, and you're staring at being knocked out of the game, fighting back to positive numbers feels damned good.
The woman I left a message with has not called back, but according to a friend of hers she is terrible about returning calls, and so I'm going to break a cardinal rule and make another call. I wouldn't except on the advice of some pretty "with it" "hep cats" so I feel pretty safe. The worst thing that could happen is that I end up not having a date, and that's not really a change.
It's busy here at work, so I can't do anything requiring mental effort. I noticed a blog that I read has a webhit counter about to hit 10,000. I've been refreshing on the page every couple minutes waiting for it to turn over, just like I glance down at my tripometer more often right before it rolls over.

One thing that was kind of odd last night was that I felt like crap mentally, but physically okay. After getting my ass kicked royally for a while I took a shot of whiskey to calm my nerves. I soon after felt ill physically, but solidly on my poker game. Whiskey can sometimes help those in need, like....the force, or friendly sea creatures.

[edit]Though his interest has waned since finding out there is no money to win, my co-worked has now refreshed on that same webcounter a couple times. Christ, you'd think that now that it's slowed down a bit here we could find something better to do, but, Oh No! We have to watch numbers. At least we don't feel the compulsion to constantly wash our hands, despite them Never Ever getting Clean.
It would seem that the counter maxes out at 10,000 and has gone all vanishy and stuff. Bah.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2002
The Priest, they called him. |12:06 AM|
I was paying for my groceries, when my knee really started to hurt. A deep throbbing pain that made me lean over and grab the joint, as if I could beat some sense into it. When I straightened, I had the tingly sensation of being observed, and I began to look around for a set of eyes fixed upon me. It was not until I started limping towards the door that I noticed the priest, sitting on a mobility cart, parked in a dark corner. To feel as though you are being watched is unsettling, to realize that it is a wizened, fragile looking priest quietly sitting is shiver inducing. I looked at him as his eyes bounced across in me some kind of inspection. I didn't lock eyes, I just kept walking. What did he see, another hooligan limping from his latest act of petty larceny? Or did he see a man who once actively considered priesthood, only to walk as far away from organized religon as possible and still believe in a higher power? I wasn't going to stop and ask. I limped out to my car, and drove here. I don't know what that exchange of observation meant, but I felt that it had some value.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2002
The waiting game |11:07 PM|
Left a message, hoping she calls back, yadda yadda. This nothing like high school, yet I still feel the urge to pass a note to Vorpal to give to this female that says "Do you like me? Yes No" with little checkboxes under the yes and the no.
But I'm a tremendous dork. And I cannot stop laughing at that goddamn Fox. LOOK AT HIM DROOOOOOOOOOL!

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Lessons in NATURE |10:39 PM|
These Cartoons beat ass. Trust me.

Ride the snake

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Holy SHIT! ALIENS! |8:20 PM|
Use the Force

Well, maybe not aliens. But weird nonetheless.

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Oh Jesus. Fox. |7:49 PM|


Vorpal is my personal hero. We've been laughing ourselves sick about this cartoon featuring a rabid fox. Vorpal tracked this Gif down and now I owe him a beer.

In other news, I finally aquired all the computer gear I was suppossed to for a female friend of mine, which included a webcam. Hopefully I should have images that border on breaking my TOS. Nah, I won't ask for that, that'd be crude.

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Monday, February 11, 2002
There be science in them thar hills |5:50 PM|
Update: State Of Emergency oooooh yeah. Best damn game at E3 I reckon. And it comes out on valentines day. How wonderful. Oooooh Yeah.


Someone browsed this site from a computer atThe Exploratorium. It's been years since I've visited that place, located in the Palace of Fine arts. I should drop by the next time I go to California, whenever that is.
Christ, I need some food. My energy level is so low lately. Hopefully working out will do something about that. Until then, I'm considering some takeout. Naaah. Well, wait a sec, since I found those gift certificates, and I've got this coupon, I might just be able to pull off the greatest budget sin....

Papa Johns. Mmmmmm.

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Vin Diesel makes things cooler. |12:58 PM|
Watched "The Fast and the Furious" along with "Porco Rosso" over the weekend. I caught up on some reading, and did the laundry. It was a slow sort of Sunday, and I had to keep my cat from vomiting on everything. She was more than happy to ruin another book. Little bastard. I have found that baking soda is very useful when you are out of Febreeze, but I think I've already brought that up.

If you must fill a bucket with snails, if you must throw them on grandma,
Do it fast, Do it Furious.

If you must stick bananas into things, if you have eat them later,
Do it fast, Do it Furious.

Christ. It's monday again. And it's already the middle of the month. Time flies no matter what, I guess. I'm only getting older. At least I'm back to lifting weights. If I can start educating myself as well then I'll really be on a roll.

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Sunday, February 10, 2002
My manta ray is running for senate |4:01 AM|
Christ on a bike. I think I figured out why I got knocked down so damned hard when I went to bed last night. I had a couple shots made by this ex-bartender. Though I only had 2, they were about as powerful as a punch in the head. I should know. Man, I really want a pizza, but the only cash I have is going to other...wait a second...I just remembered some other dough. ALRIGHT! Wait, I should just stick with Chow Mein. It's cheap, it's here, it's healthy (sort of)
Eck. If I get money the first thing I'm going to do is abuse the supermarket. Lobster, Alligator, T-bone, Hell, I'll need another freezer for all the meat I buy. Mmmmm.

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It's such a drag, wakin' up. |12:02 AM|
I went down to the pool to get a bottle of coke earlier, and interrupted a couple in the hot tub. I couldn't apologize there, so I apologize here. Sorry for ruining your groove their, folks.

I've got 3-5 days to wait before using this phone number that I got from a woman. She seemed receptive to the idea of getting some coffee "sometime next week". So, this ought to be interesting.
For the last month or so, until a couple days ago, all music (except Adagio for strings) was boring me to death for some reaon. I don't know why, or why it suddenly stopped. But now I'm filling up my hard drive with Rolling stones and opera MP3's.
If you're reading this now, greetlin' s to you Cartesian. I want the pics of your rat.

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