Life is rulin' ass |4:55 AM|
Went to a poker game last night, luckily, I found a crapload of money (okay, $18) that I had totally forgotten about in the laundry, so when I had the coldest run of cards I've had in AGES it didn't hurt so very badly. However, after I was knocked out of the game, I did some community service and took my poker host's copy of Halo past the GOD-HATING LIBRARY. That level blows ass.
Then evening rounded out with an all girls make out session, dominos games (I was victorious), and finding out my brilliant idea from yesterday is actually a common pot-smoking practice. (The idea was, someone smokes the pot first, then blows it into another person's mouth while essentially kissing. Seemed brilliant at the time, and I decided that would be the only way I would ever try out weed. I should have known such an obvious idea would have already been tried out)
Heck of a night. Goin' to bed.
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Friday, February 08, 2002
I miss having plantlife |10:46 AM|
I bought my sister some really pretty flowers yesterday, since they could do a much better job at comforting her than I could. But it reminded me that I need to buy a plant for my house. Unfortunately, I'll have to get something that my cat cannot get near, like a cactus.
I had a fantastic conversation with a pretty damn cool human being last night, and if I wasn't busy at work I'd get you the truly entertaining highlights.
Oh, for the last several weeks I've been smearing vitamin E on my facial scars without fail everyday, and almost always twice a day. The scars faded a bit, then stopped fading altogether. No change. I kept doing the vitamin E thing waiting for a change. Seeing none I got in touch with my pop who had told me about the Vitamin E in the first place. He then informed me that it wouldn't help.
Dad: they did a study recently and found that Aloe Vera is the way to go, and Vitamin E makes almost no difference.
Cecil: This is the most conistent facial cleansing behavior I've ever done, and only now they are finding out it's pointless? You told me about this trick a couple months ago, for crying out loud
Dad: Sorry. It was a really recent study.
Cecil: CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!
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Boys are Dumb. |12:29 AM|
Here is a hint for anyone who might be classified as an "Asshole". (By the way, do people often make lewd gestures at you in public? Are you unable to keep a pet that is capable of running away? Do the people you work with deny knowing you? Then you might be an asshole).
If you are breaking up with your girlfriend, your tiny brain might get the idea that the best way to make a clean break is to be a totally aggressive shithead towards your former main squeeze. This situation certainly will not change the fact that you were friends previously, and the female in question did kind of want to keep things friendly. A polite response may hurt in the short term, but some kind of vitriol filled rant about how stupid the girl is not the smart path to take. Neither is to make grand generalizations such as "ex-girlfriends ruin your life".
Since I just had to drag my ass to a different county entirely to get my kid sister's car home, I'm a wee bit...worked up. It's fairly clear from the pattern of "Crying-sleeping-crying" that you managed to not take the proper path, dickhead. And it's not like you were the first doofus to dump her, you simply managed to fuck it up. In a task as complicated as baking a french desert, you somehow microwaved the cat and filled the sink with dirt.
So...gosh. What am I saying here? Handshakes, not punches to the face. Because, sometimes, just sometimes, that girl has a crazy, impulsive older brother.
Actually, I can't even joke about that sort of thing anymore. It's just not fun, nor funny. I'll just let my sister work it out, and be quietly supportive. I bought her a potted flower, some pretty yellow mums.
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Thursday, February 07, 2002
Yes, that's my engine. No, I don't want the car to go to child protective services. GIVE ME BACK MY CAR! |6:49 PM|
You know, if I was Jiffy Lube, I'd call the cops everytime some jackass wandered into my shop with an out of date registration and no proof of insurance. The cops wouldn't nail the customer right outside of Jiffy lube, that'd be too easy to spot. But I'm sure whatever outrageous fine I'd be charged for all the violations of policy on my car would outweigh most non-school-zone-DUI-speeders out there.(Jiffy lube would get a cut, albeit, an illegal one) So....Jiffy Lube. I'm suprised they didn't ask me the typical "What the hell did you DO?" I mean, I put a huge number of miles on the damn car, and in quite a short period of time.
A buddy of mine named Josh went to Jiffy Lube on like a thursday, then came back the following tuesday with 3000 miles put on the car. A road trip from Texas up to New Hampshire with stops all over the damn place, I believe. They were stunned.
As for me, they listed a great many things goofed up on my car, and came up with some incredibly huge number. Using the haggling skills of "Christ, I can't afford any of that" I got them to throw in an air filter (woohoo) and I didn't opt for Super-Ultra-Delux-Car-Blowjob service. But I wish I could pop the hood of my car and show my neighbors "Look how CLEAN my COOLANT IS! Look how INFLATED my TIRES ARE! OOOOH"
The car does run much better now, so I guess it was almost worth it. Now, time to drive to....Wapakoneta Ohio, birthplace of Neil Armstrong! I was so overjoyed to see that on the side of a(n?) U-Haul truck. "Hey! I totally knew that! Go NEIL! Go OHIO!"
(Additional: I hate spam, but I must say that I hate VALENTINE RELATED SPAM THE MOST. "Here's this Goddamn holiday basically DESIGNED around guilt and uncertainty...and remember...you're ALONE! ALONE! YOU FAIL! " V-day can ram me right in the ass)
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Mildly Amusing |1:38 PM|This IMDB reviewer is amusing for a little while. I miss the old Amazon.com joke reviews of the Family Circus book "I had a frightmare". The reviews implied the book had everything from Kafka-esque metamorphosis to a hard line lambasting of the American system. All the funny ones were deleted after only a day or so, so I won't bother linking to it. I should have saved and mirrored that page, who knew Amazon would be so swift in their rough justice?
Hmmm. It appears the "fake nice review" is more common than I thought. I guess I was so used to crappy, unclever reviews or terrible sucking up, that I assumed no one would do anything clever with the review system. There is also the widespread problem of complete idiots writing reviews.
I'm trying to find it, but I know this one reviewer must be getting paid for the terrible, hack-job PR spin doctor garbage that he is writing for some movies. Oh, I checked for him, looks like his reviews have been deleted. I applaud IMDB for that bit of censorship. I will continue looking for people giving awful movies good reviews for either humor value or as an attempt to hurt people who rent these films.
I would much rather be reading something stunning or informative, but it's impossible to study at work. I should get a book on the five fold path.
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I was on "The Pill" for a little while |12:03 PM|This short story is interesting, and was posted by Zusty on her Top Secret Diary page thing. My question is what led the author to write it? It's not so much a "where do you get your ideas" so much as "what drove you?".
We were talking about various drugs used for different purposes than what they were originally designed for, such as Minoxidil (the magic stuff in Rogaine) was originally used to treat high blood pressure. At some point someone noticed "Hey! I got my damned hair back!". The human body is still clearly a black box in some way to the medical industry. They try some things, they watch what happens, they take notes, but some stuff is really weird. Like a lot of anti-depression medications will give you permanent muscle twitches if you're on them for more than a couple years, but they may also make your jaw grow. What the hell? That's like using the wrong oil in your car and then the damn tires go flat.
My co-worker mentioned something that had me find This article. It has an amusing (at least I think so) line that ends with "hat". Note to men who don't want commitments, do not drop hats. Listed in this article is one of the drugs that I used to take for acne, Tetracycline. This particular version of "The pill" was also found to have anti acne effects. Hence, the title, I was indeed on the pill for a little while.
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No limit blogging |2:52 AM|
Another night of poker, and I came out ahead. Not way ahead, but ahead. I would have been way ahead but I kept paying to see what the other guy was holding, just to see if I was right. Too often, I was right, and I was taken to the cleaners. Hopefully this investment of a few dollars will teach me a little more about people's betting and bluffing tactics. By the way, should you ever play Vorpal at poker, keep a close watch on the sides of his mouth, and his eyebrows. He can't seem to help reacting in some way to his hand. Now, the reaction is just a reaction, it's either that he has something really good, or something that COULD be good, or something that is total crap. You have to judge the slight curls at the sides of his mouth, a faint smile that could be him laughing at his own misfortune.
I found that I had the dumbest damned tell ever. My heartbeat in some places is so intense, it causes my cards to shake, noticeably. So if my heart was to start racing, a REALLY well trained observer could catch it. However, any tell is a tell, so I hold my cards a slightly different way now.
My poker host and I are thinking about starting up some side games. You know, "just for fun". Not at all for profit.
no, never that.
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Wednesday, February 06, 2002
I skinned my cat |5:49 PM|
Dammit. Winamp skins do not support any sort of modification to the actual shape of the winamp window. I wanted to make a skin, to start to proove I can design a good interface, but it looks like I'm stuck with this goddamn winamp interface and all I can do is put perfume on the pig. Drag.
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I got hit in the head with the message bottle |5:32 PM|
Spam. spam, Spam. That's all I get in my mailbox anymore. I should harass some people. Maybe their lawyers will like me.
Someone found this page by searching for the file name of a pictogram. They were surprised to find this E/N crap, and wasn't sure if it was me or not. "Sounds like Cecil, kind of look's like Cecil's style..." they then clicked the about link, and though the picture looked almost nothing like they remember me, they knew that it could only be one person. Once again, my about page kicks ass.
I'd forgotten a lot of what Cecil Adams had taught me. I'm still working my way through the archives, there's a lot of catching up to do. However, to quote an ex-girlfriend who watched me devour an entire P.J. O'Rourke book on a flight to Florida "Geez Cecil, you read fast!. Yeah, toots, and it's expensive as hell.
How green eyes are actually caused by fat cells. That article also covers eyes changing colors. I have a friend (a nemesis, I should say) who's eyes change color seasonally. Or at least they did, I don't know if he's even still alive. The bastard.
I knew I wasn't the only person who had heard of Penile Fracture
My parents used to use anti-static dryer sheets on my head, since they could never ever get my hair to be straight. Now I have a very short haircut and issues with doing the drying.
And now, for a non Cecil Adams link, the definition of piquant
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Send money to people you don't know. |1:56 PM|
Played Tribes 2 for the first time in ages, and had an absolute blast. I had forgotten just how much fun can be had with that game. I had a buddy along who is an excellent tank driver, and we unleashed untold hell upon foolish internet people.
I want to get my car road ready again in a hurry. You never know when you may need to suddenly be across the damn country with your own wheels.
I've been reading The Straight Dope for a good portion of the day. Before I was an internet geek, I was a literary geek, and I used to devour the straight dope books. They fell apart in my hands, actually. To see most of it online for free does my heart....uh, a positive service.
Headaches returned, briefly. I am not sure if it's caffiene or drug related. Nightmares are not present, so perhaps the side effects of my medication only come in waves. Wonderful. Deja Vu was so incredibly powerful this morning that it woke me up. I know that I've never been in the exact situation, but it seemed that I must have at some point been face down in bed mulling over how to ask this very same woman out, while worrying about taxes and some very specific friends of mine. I was also convinced that my alarm clock was about to fail. It did, and I was grinning at it when it shut itself off after one tone. If it was only a mis-firing brain piece that made me feel the Deja Vu, then it was a very helpful misfire. If it had also let me know that I was out of Gas, I would have made it to work on time.
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Using Traps to catch the woman of your dreams. |12:36 AM|
I have to look sharp, I have a way-laying to attend. Well, it may not be for a while, but some nice folks are arranging a "chance" meeting with a nice woman. Hooray.
I really fouled up this Chow Mein. I got distracted and all the water boiled off. Actually, it came out tasting interesting.
I had a wolf spider on me. And I threw a big box at it when it was on the fridge. That was a drag.
Did I ever mention that I apparently sleep with my eyes open? I wish it was of some use. Some people I was with while I slept were creeped out, and one of them actually tried closing my eyes. They apparently slowly drifted back open. That was a hell of a trip. I slept on a floor right next to Vorpal, and found out that he mutters. I elbowed him to shut up. I was also right next to a nice warm female. That was very comfortable, even if we had 10 people in a room designed for one, and all available floor space was covered by human. Ah, memories.
Zombie Lifestyle |11:41 AM|
This name site is a lot like a horoscope. You have something that kind of applies to me:
Cecil Then you have something like this, which if you know Brendan you can see it's totally inaccurate.
A Resident Evil Movie? Milla Jovovich? Why? Wait a second, why make this movie at all? Maybe it will be like Resident Evil 2, where the main female character goes home to change in reaction to the zombie attack, changes out of reasonable clothes...AND INTO a mini skirt and halter top. What the hell is wrong with game designers? After watching the trailer, yes, it is indeed a "I must change out of reasonable clothes and into a skirt" kind of flick. I'm kind of tempted by it, but I'm always tempted by zombie movies. Just as Vorpal sort of gravitates towards Vampire movies, I sort of gravitate towards zombie/cannabalism movies. I wonder what that says about us? That I'm a terrible shambling once-human monster (with consumption issues), and Vorpal is a trapped romantic tormented by his own passion? I doubt it. I think we're just dorks.
Lakshminarayanan, Ganesh is the new winner for longest name at Dell.
Yeesh. I don't feel so hot. Depression? But why? I think I'm just tired. It doesn't help that I had a headache so bad yesterday I briefly thought it was a Goddamn Aneurysm. That was a load of laughs, let me tell you.
Driving until the end of the road |12:16 AM|
The Damned Gumball 3000 is coming to America. NYC to LA in like 6 days. 3000 miles. But Goddammit, they want 6000 pounds for 2 people and one car. That's like, a Bazillion dollars US. Fuck it. For 6000 pounds I can drive my own damned route across the US. Now all I need is a crapload of money. Oh, also, I'm working on the days that the Rally takes place. Guess I don't get to go. Drag.
If you want a personal visit from me, and I am willing to travel to other countries, send a self addressed, stamped envelope to me. I'll squeeze into it. I'm skinny.
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Monday, February 04, 2002
Movie Review not to be taken orally. |10:07 PM|
"Blackhawk Down" 's title brings to mind images of the Chicago hockey team. In fact, this movie is just like watching a Hockey game, except that there's no Ice, it's in Somalia, and there's no Hockey to speak of. Actually, it's a pretty good movie. Despite attachment of the name Bruckheimer, nothing blows up that shouldn't, and it's a little more consistently directed then Gladiator. All in all, worth seeing.
Zusty, who made the Jet Alone heart, also tolerated a story I'd sent to her a couple days ago, her convulsions stopped after only a few hours. Now if I clean up a few truly muddy points on it, it may be safe for human consumption.
So I bought this box of Raisin Bran a while back while grocery shopping. It was on a whim, as a joke, for a friend. I never quite figured out how to get this box to them, but it's expiration date is in August of this year, so I had some time to mull it over. Well, that project got cancelled, and I guess I was much, much hungrier that I thought. When the cereal became fair game...
I've eaten almost an entire box, and half a gallon of milk in the last 24 hours. I'm kind of curious as to what effect it will have on my metabolism. Not to mention my guts. Well, if anything interesting and non-horribly happens, I'll let you know.
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Threats and unspoken allegations |2:37 PM|
To those in charge of my health care:
You deserve to have splinters of skull blown through your chest by the explosive detonation of your neighbor's head.
I will slick my hair back with fingers soaked in your blood.
May your wife's birth canal be seared with the flames of your first born's combustion upon it's first breath of air.
Zusty made this for me, I am cheered immensely by it. I'm going to wash my car and consider putting the Jet Alone tags on it.
Sadly I lack insurance. So I can't really call any attention to my car. I did manage to totally Bear Bait'd today. I knew where a speeding blitz was occurring, so I let some guy break the speed limit in front of me while I slowed down to 65. The cop nails him, and I continue on to work.
If you're going to bait bears, do it fast, do it FURIOUS.
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Don't start trying to sell me long distance carriers. |12:22 PM|
I got a paycheck today. Do you know how much it was? Guess. .97 cents. That's right. That's 3 cents less than the amount of money needed to buy a Mountain Dew here at Dell. Ninety. Seven. Cents. Gosh, how did this happen? Well, it's technically vacation pay. So, it's over a hundred dollars. But factor in Federal Income tax, Social Security tax, and of course, medical, And you get .97 goddamn cents. I've called the company I work for twice in the last hour, and I'm already being given the run around. I just remembered I never got my Federal Refund check, either. Goddammit. This week is already starting to suck. And yes, I count last night at around midnight as part of this shit festival.
I could REALLY use that fucking $100.
While I was at my mailbox cursing in such a way that killed the grass around me, I also got a package. I didn't recognize it, the name was unfamiliar to me, but it came from Arizona. Wondering if it was hostile, I rubbed it on my belly and waited for a violent chemical reaction. I then remembered that I had no idea what Sulzanti's last name was, and was happy to receive a fresh shipment of copyrighted material. Thanks Sulz! I'll send you the crap I meant to so long ago, I'll blow my whole paycheck on it.
My Shoes! My beautiful shoes |9:25 AM|
Quite an eventful weekend. It's a bit of a long story, but I was trying to arrange a meeting between myself and a particular woman for sometime this week. As it turned out, she was showing up to an animation festival Friday night, and the people I was talking to invited me to go along. I got ready and downtown in record time. At a bar called "The Hole in the Wall" I saw the Hotrod Hillbillies, which is a hell of a rock-a-billy band. The Bass in that band is the guy I bought the keg for, the keg that would later attack and nearly destroy my damned testicles. It was a great show, and from there my group headed out to go in search of parking. While my friends lucked out in passing people who were just leaving, I couldn't find anyplace to put my car. Remembering a tricky place to park, I headed to the post office, only to find out after I had parked, that it was now pay-to-park. Damn! So I blew $5, as I was running out of time.
Heading down to the theater, I found (as I expected) a huge line. It was clear that the show had sold out, and I was likely screwed. The only scalper I could find would only sell me tickets if I purchased 2. Drag. As my group in line got closer and closer to the door, I realized the only way I was going to see Spike and Mike's twisted cartoon festival is if I paid Mr. "screw-me-in-the-ass" scalper. I didn't want to tell the group I was with just how much I had now dropped on tickets ($20). However, since the group had purchased their tickets online, they needed everyone with them in order to get all of their tickets. A member of the group (who happened to be the woman I was hoping to see this week) was late getting across town. Since I had 2 tickets, I volunteered to stay outside, and wait. I sort of saved the day. As it turns out, she probably would have been able to get in, but I'm glad my ticket went to some use.
After the show, it was a long ass trip to Slaughter lane, far south of Austin. We all played dominoes, and I managed to get out of there at 6:30am. Ugh. While I was there, I managed to impress some folks, including the woman, with my knowledge of spyware, and the ways to clean it off computers. Knowing about a band called Mindless Self Indulgence also turned out to be a bonus. Being a giant geek can have it's plusses.
Saturday was spent watching movies, and trying to remember how to walk. Sunday was spent cleaning, and I even managed to Polish my shoes. So what did I promptly do with my nice clean shoes? Stomp around a damn mountain.
Time for work.
Low batteries |1:15 AM|
Oh, wow. 2 days ago was 02/02/02. I'm such a fucking dork. And a late one at that.
I drove out to the overlook tonight. It's this ridge of rock that has been dynamited through in order to allow a highway. It's right next to a river and the largest bridge here in Austin. If you're quick and nimble (Or drunk and stoned) you can make your way up the broken bits of stone to the top of the ridge. From there you have a fantastic view of all of Austin, the river, and this giant bridge. The area is populated with small rodents, mammals, deer, and something I've never gotten a good look at. It's got red eyes whatever it is.
I go to the overlook every so often, and try not to disturb the pot smokers and fornicators, who have discovered this place in increasing numbers over the years. I've taken a couple people up there, to show them around and impress them with the view. I actually took a sort of "Dark Passages" journey across the top, hoping not to get eaten by spiders. Okay. Maybe it was nothing like dark passages. But I and a friend found these bizarre nests that we couldn't identify. And there was the thing with red eyes, and many spider webs. We spent the night on some rocks staring at clouds in the dark sky, the most amusing of which looked like a maid slipping and throwing up a huge platter of dishes.
I couldn't get to the top of the ridge tonight, the cops showed up. A lot of cops. They were pulling some guy over for God knows what but it was right next to where I was parking. I'm sure I look totally innocent turning my car on and leaving right after they arrived. Good work Cecil, very subtle. I did find a way down to the underside of the bridge, secretly hidden by a sign that said "Public boat ramp". I was spooked from under the bridge by care free laughter. I skedaddled back to my car and took off into the night. Bringing me back here, with a camera full of pictures that are too dark to bother sharing with you folks. Sorry, I'll bring a flashbulb and a flashlight next time. I did use two pairs of socks, and I brought a lighter. You know, in case I had to burn stuff.
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Sunday, February 03, 2002
Goddamn Cat |8:11 PM|
I've cleaned my bathroom, cleaned out the closet, dumped all my expired drugs and pain killers....
AND found out that my cat has been pissing in the damn closet. WHY? WHY DO THAT? I bought a nice, clean litter box for GOD'S SAKE.
anyway, I'm doing a lot of laundry at the moment. Remind me to shoot the cat.
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|6:07 PM|
A car doesn't know it's driving, a Nand gate doesn't know it's doing Binary addition and a relay doesn't know it's making a Nand gate. So why do humans "Know" they're being human? What if we're just doing what we do and we think it's being human? It's all relative, it's all subjective, and I think I just broke my argument. Emotions are quite likely just firings of neurons in reaction to chemical signals. Love, hate, passion, joy, all a couple of grams of chemicals and sticky hardware. So why do any of them matter?
In other news, I still feel lonely.
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Knock Knock! |2:56 AM|
I just want to share this with the audience. Despite being so sick that I wanted to die, I should have been a little more forthcoming with work about my plans and location on a particular work day. However, showing up at my house and later throwing stuff at my head is not what I'd called good managering. My Goddamn HOUSE. I hate when people who don't intend to feed me show up at my house.
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And if you love him...love him.... |2:32 AM|
I used to say the reason I wasn't going out on Saturday night was that I was saving money for the operation to save my sister's life. She needed her bones replaced, all of them. But at this point I did go out, I just didn't stay out incredibly late. Heck, I got back home before the sun rose. If anyone cares, my apartment is located in Sector J35K34 in the grand world of Papa John's mapping system. I was throwing junk away and one of my pizza boxes was happy enough to tell me that.
Don't bother seeing an anime called "The Twilight of the Last Guardian" or something like that. It's not good enough.
Uh, Oh FUCK. I've got the damn song from "Perfect Blue" stuck in my head. No, I'm not going to provide a link. It's so painful. I told them to skip the first fucking chapter tonight, while we were watching the goddamn movie, but OOOH NO. Vorpal yells at me to stop building it up, that everyone will be disappointed. This isn't about building shit up, this is about not having this fucking song stuck in my fucking head. Goddamn it.
So yeah. Saw Perfect Blue with some friends, again. Good movie, very nicely done.
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