Digging around in old folders |8:26 PM|
I have no idea why, but I found a document in my documents folder called "Look this up" and the text of it is "Valediction: Forbidden Mourning -- John Donne". It wasn't that hard to find, Google returned the entire text of it several times. I found a copy that had did not have a midi playing in the background. Here it is. I don't know who told me to look it up. But I did.
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What day is it? THE YEAR! THE YEAR! |6:44 AM|
I uh. It's late. I went and saw spike and mikes twisted cartoon festival, right after seeing "The Hotrod Hillbillies" play at hole in the wall. Christ, tired. LEarned to play dominoes. Goin' to bed.
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Friday, February 01, 2002
FLOSS? FLOSS?!? |6:00 PM|
Well, if anyone cares to know, interdental stimulators are CRAP. And flossing works better. Whoop-te-fuckin' hooray. After the intial horrible pain of fishing around in my own mouth, I flossed. After flossing, my teeth hurt a lot less. So. My dad wasn't full of crap when he said "Floss more". Thanks dad! I'll delay putting you in the home by at least a year for this one.
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I sacrafice my fingers as an offering to you, oh Fan. |2:50 PM|
When I worked at a grocery store, many years ago, I always tried to spend as much time outside as possible. If I was collecting carts, or loading groceries, I wasn't bagging groceries or dealing with annoyed shoppers. However, it was tough physical work outside. We would be pushing 20-40 carts (That was the safe limit) or more around a parking lot trying not to hit cars. During the last half of July and all of August the heat would be near lethal. One summer, 500 people died of heat stroke. I was very careful that summer.
If you could sneak inside, past the managers and the customer service desk, you could get to the Osco side of the store. This was the pharmacy and grills and other non food items' area. One whole aisle was devoted to fans of various sizes. Many had a demo unit up and running, blowing air and tethered tassels around the fan area. If you stood in front of them, and stretched out your arms, every bit of your body would be hit by the wind from the fans. The sweat would evaporate in seconds, you would cool down so quickly that you couldn't help but shiver. The risk of being caught by the managers or leads were totally forgotten for a split second, and it was a totally comfortable moment. I called it "Worshipping in the Church of the Fan". It's definitely in the realm of the hammer religon "The longer I hit myself in the head with a hammer, the better it will feel when I stop". However, I'll remember that burst of artificial air movement across my uniform for a good long time.
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Forgive me, reader. |2:11 PM|
As far as I can tell, the piece of music I had been referring to as "Agnus Dei" is actually a re-scoring of Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber. But there seems to be a bit of confusion on that front. The bit of music I've been listening to almost nonstop in my car is referred to as "Main Theme" repeatedly, by the track name, the site I got it from, people in the know, as well as here. But the Main Theme was done by Salvador, not Barber. Was it merely a re-working by Salvador?
The term Agnus Dei appears to usually refer one of two things. The first would be protective medallions and the other would be a chant that I've listed below, with the source.
From a list of chants.(Quote)This is the last chant in the Ordinary of the Mass. It is an acclamation based on the Gospel of John, when John the Baptist saw Jesus and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world." The verse is repeated three times with the phrase "have mercy on us," following the first two verses and "grant us peace" on the last verse.This selection is in a neumatic style with the majority of the syllables sung with a group of two or three notes. The chant is based on the tone D with all the verses beginning and ending on D.(End Quote) I really wish I knew what neumatic meant in music. Oh. Now I do. It's clear from the description that whatever it is I'm listening to in my car is neumatic.
Okay, so what is it that I'm listening to in the damn car, dammit? I never used to be able to listen to this piece of music. It affected me so strongly that it was nearly dangerous. Now I listen to it because I can control my actions and reactions so much more. I love this piece. I'd like to know as much about it as possible. Unfortunately, the quickest way to figure out if this bit of music is related to Adagio for Strings would be to listen to the previously mentioned piece, but I don't have real player. If anyone is still reading this, I will have an answer as soon as I get home.
|5:35 PM|
Great. I sent a story off to someone, and I didn't have the best chance to do any checking on it. I was so worried about my power being shut off. So not only are there still a shitload of spelling errors, there are some REALLY muddled parts that I could do a lot better in. Well, besides the normal muddling that I was hoping to have pointed out for me. Great.
I don't know what this entry is about other than to celebrate my power still being turned on. Oh, and it's payday. I can't afford Pizza to celebrate though, that would be foolish.
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The man crosswalks across the road that is my soul |4:37 PM| I'm not crazy. I've seen these signs everywhere. Chicago, Austin, Phoenix... In all the cities I have travelled to recently I have seen crosswalk signs defaced in a similar fashion. A hula hoop is added to the sign either by sticker or by marker, and I saw a bumper sticker with the standard "Guy crossing street" with hula hoop a couple weeks ago. I think it must be a band of some kind, I'm not certain. I've asked a couple people (who then backed away slowly) and they had no information.
It seems I've left traces and connections from this site's Cecil to the Real Life Cecil. At some point I had this site's URL listed on my Tribes 2 page, and I've left the address other places. This is back when this site was not a grotesque wad of E/N blithering and bizzare links. In fact, I now have to
edit some old entries to hide my feelings for a particular person. Drag man, big drag. I guess that is one issue with posting your damned daily log entries for all the world to see, sometimes the world looks.
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My clone stole my car. |12:10 PM|Stuff. I am accussing people who opposse stem cell research of being "Fucking Stupid". I know the folks on the other side of the controversy are calling me fucking stupid. "What? You want to kill babies?" Apparently they harvest a lof of these embryos from fertility clinics. They're going to be "disposed of" if we don't use 'em. How would you like to be told "Sorry, we can't replace your pancreas, we 'disposed of' the stuff to do it". I don't have all the facts, but that's not stopping me from making a decision and sticking with it.
Now! On to evolution!
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|1:52 AM|
After $150 down the goddamn tubes and a couple hours of waiting, the power was back on in my apartment when I got home. The too-quiet household that I had visited briefly had been an ominous warning of things to come, should a single payment be late, or a single cent not paid.
My thermostat is set to 65, the A/C is blasting, my lights are on and I'm going to go take a 20 minute shower. If I have electricity then by GOD I am going to WASTE the FUCK out of it.
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Wednesday, January 30, 2002
|3:40 PM|
Well, I paid just enough to get the electricity back on for a little while. But the electric company wants a lot of money, and if I'm a day late or a penny short for the next 6 months, I have to come up with an ENORMOUS sum of money to prevent the power from being cut off. Life is exciting that way.
Cecil: Let me go! bismilah!
Electric Company: We will not let you go
Cecil: Let me go! bismilah!
Electric Company:We will not let you go.
Cecil: let me go
Electric Company:Will not let you go
Cecil: let me go
Electric Company: Will not let you go,
Cecil let me go ah…...Oh mama mia, mama mia, let me go...Beelzebub has a devil put a side for me, for me, for me
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Wow! I'm screwed! |2:22 PM|
The power has been cut off at at my house. Payment plan? Well, that would be an option if I had money. Or if I hadn't biffed the last payment plan by not having enough money. Now, the question you might ask of me, "Where oh where did the damn money go? Weren't you getting a raise like, 6 months ago?" Why, that's right! A raise! 6 months ago! And wow, it looks like it may be an additional 6 months before that goes through. "Could better planning have prevented this?" Only a well planned bank heist after the last time I had to go to the pharmacy could have prevented this. "What are you going to do?" Weep softly, I think. Right now my apartment's temperature is rising. Being on the third floor, it heats up relatively quickly. If it acts like it did 2 days ago, it'll be about 80 degrees or so when I finally decide to go back home. Remind me to take my fan...oh GODDAMMIT. My fan won't work either.
I'm on the phone with the power company. Maybe they'll show some mercy. Economic downturn and all that.
Here is an amusing movie.
The real shocking part is trying to turn the lights on.
The Jawbone represents power |11:51 AM|
Fuck. All I can think about is my teeth. The three in the front. I burned my lower gums or something a few days ago and now it's pure fucking agony at the most unpredictable moments. If it was just when I drank something hot, or drank something cold, or if I ate spicy food, I could avoid this crap. But I can sometimes drink cold beverages, sometimes I can't eat spicy foods. And the pain is a sudden, echoing throb in my jaw that can often make me shut my eyes in response. Every so often I hate this shambling, animated corpse in which I putter about. This is certainly one of those moments. At least it's making keep my mouth closed, so I don't say anything offensive in front of the new head honcho.
While asking for pain killers I made a reference to "The Raven" (is there Balm in Gilead?) and was accussed of quoting some damned role playing game. Man, I guess I'm just bitchy today. But I've got a stinky manager, a fucked up mouth, and I have to go deal with my family tonight before I play poker. I should take up drinking. Whiskey would at least dull the ache in my gums.
No new dreams. No new nightmares. I entered a haiku contest on a local website, if I win I don't know what I'm going to do with the prize. It's a Valentines Day package at the local Omni hotel. 2 nights, rose, dinner, movies, late check out. How romantic. Guess if I win I'll have to find someone in a real big hurry. I wonder if that would be a good pick up line or really presumptious. "Hey doll, I won this haiku contest, and now I've got 2 romantic nights at the Omni hotel, care to join me?". Remind me to wear a catcher's mask.
Like I said last year, Valentine's Day can ram me in the ass.
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They make it out of horses, don't they? |11:21 AM|
My new manager (who is a different person that my "boss" who recently had his quotes removed) won't stop bobbing her head when she isn't talking. And she still smells like old Hot and Spicy Elmer's glue. Christ. At least it's not as overwhelming as it was the last time she was her. I'm not as free to talk to Vid or make jokes when she's in here. I wouldn't call her a prude, a square is a better description.
I'm doing my best to look competent. Unfortunately, I've been so competent over the past couple days that there is very little work to be accomplished today. Hopefully her visit will end without me being fired.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2002
The priests just throw rocks |5:42 PM|
I had a relatively amusing statement in a conversation with Vorpal which, in order to waste space, I have placed below. But it does bring up one thing I'm interested in, and that is the concept of a data core.
I was told a little while back that OC3's could be leased for as little as $1000 a month. Now, you still need all the other crap that goes with it, like a fiber optic headend, and the massive servers and routers and all that, but think of the POWER. You could share any file with anyone you wanted at the highest possible speed their connection could handle. You could stop worrying about bandwidth and run any kind of server, web or otherwise, out of this thing and not give a damn about how much pipe it is using. If you got a bunch of dorks together, (Especially if they were living close to one another, that way the thing could also be used for internet access via wireless networking), and split the costs of it all, you could have a very valuable, possibly profitable tool. Okay, maybe not an OC3, but a T3 perhaps? And those prices have to keep going down as time goes by. It's just a pipe dream at the time being, I'm sitting here wondering when the power is going to be turned off. If they wait until tommorow, I can give them a good chunk of their money. If they wait until friday, I can give all of it to them.
Vorpal (5:42:30 PM): oh, I"m taking a class on greek mythology1
Cecil (5:42:56 PM): Remember, Athena is a high tech God.
Vorpal (5:43:22 PM): Athena is the Goddess of Hax0rs
Cecil (5:43:28 PM): She is, dude.
Cecil (5:43:39 PM): but I want you to read "Cryptinomicon"
Vorpal (5:43:50 PM): not for a while
Cecil (5:43:55 PM): a book that will make you share my want of having a "data core" or a "data vault". Well, yeah, I didn't mean immediately.
Vorpal (5:44:07 PM): I have so much stuff to read for class it's not even funny
Cecil (5:44:09 PM): Especially since it's big, and if you dig it, it takes over your life.
Cecil (5:44:21 PM): I think it's funny, but I'm a mean person and nuns piss on my face.
Hearts aren't like boomerangs. They only come back if you bounce them off of a wall. |2:30 PM|
My co-worker says my dreams show "Issues with justice". I suppose that makes a fair amount of sense. My electricity may be shut off today. I might have enough to get it turned back on, but I may be going on paraffin heat sources and reading by burning old clothes. I didn't want for this to happen, hell, it was pretty much impossible to avoid. The good news that I was given a week ago has been updated, that it may be many more months before I see a real, honest to God job. I was tempted to quit and become a male prostitute, but I need a six pack first.
My coworker, feeling a desperate need for hate fuel, has been going through the dregs of internet comic strips. At one point he came across a Turkish comic strip. Now, as it turns out, it's not nearly as poorly translated as I first thought. But it is still much more amusing if you picture the man drawing this strip as a "wigger" whose ends every sentence with a shouted "Boooieeeee".
Testing, Testing... |5:28 AM|
I made some changes. I may make more. This is a test.
What I'm trying to get working is some kind of permanent link in each post that I could copy, then send to people just in case they ever wanted to pick one damned post out of this mess. Now, each post has it's own specific ID number, so a named anchor for each post is no biggie, so long as it's on the front page. Once it's only in the Backup section (the archives) it becomes a bit more tricky. The ID stays the same, but the way to get to it now includes the date/name of the archive file. What a pain. I could just change the date format that is automatically displayed at the top here to be the same as the filename format of the archives, making everything a lot easier, but that would be awfully ugly. Anyway, I have to get 50 minutes of sleep before I go get my medication and then head to work. Huzzah.
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|5:13 AM|
In the interest of education and furthering my plan to eventually be some kind of game designer, I have entered myself into a bit of a contest. At the moment, the contest consists of 2 people, but the challenge I am undertaking to win the contest is considerable. I have to build a tiny, network capable game. It's a complete rip off of an existing game, called network sniper. At this point, my programming knowledge is limited to about 3 years of C++, and at this point that can be considered "Purely Conceptual". I've got the background, I just need the education. The tools I have at my disposal include the single largest library of reference books I have ever seen online, I'd link you, but it's a private server in some guy' shouse and I'm sure he doesn't want to attract attention. I do have a fully legal student copy of "Visual C++ studio" that was paid for by my Grandfather when we were still talking to one another, and several C++ class text books. I put my chances at about 100 to one. My adversary has already managed to build a fully functional application that includes several things that I don't understand.
That's all that's worth writing about on here, for the time being.
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