|11:57 AM| I was talking about identifying phrases with a co-worker. Not catch phrases, or trademark utterances, just a phrase or sentence that could easily identify a person out of a lineup. My co-worker's was a very non-chalant "Oops! Did I just spill hot wax down the front of your dress?". Mine was the ever-popular "If all else fails..." or perhaps "That's most peculiar."
Something has gone peculiar in my head. The last few days of memories are dream like, unreal. Nothing of true consequence has occurred that I know of, but I also dreamed of a 12 hour work shift in retail hell, that seemed more real than my entire work week. I'm not sure exactly what is occurring. I think I talked to some people on the phone last night but I'm not sure, and I seem to have eaten all my frosted flakes, yet I'm not exactly positive when I finished it off. My chair is covered in the crumbs and the room stinks of the sugary coated corn. I'm somewhat unneverved. I'm pretty sure i spent about 20 minutes this morning licking the insides of Adderal containers in a desperate attempt to restore normality to my sense of time, and I guess it worked since I'm much more stable right now.
I wrote...something last night. It's very personal but the strength of feeling in it is almost...crazed. I can't find a softer word than lunatic, or psycotic, but this writing has a touch...a sort of loss of sanity. I'm not implying I'm crazy, I'm sure I simply wrote it in an altered state, that period between waking and sleep where everything seems so much more honest and easy. Anyway, I'm going to guzzle coke and get my hands on some industrial strength stimulants.
(0) comments
Friday, December 14, 2001
|5:37 PM| Ow. Ow. Ow. I held this paper job list in my mouth for a long time, I had to get out of the office, I had to get into my car, I had to put on my sunglasses. For some reason (oooh science of the MOUTH) the paper bonded to my inner lip surface, and when I pulled it out it took a lot of my oh-so-senstive lips with it. I yelped, and to see if I was bleeding I held the paper to my mouth, and so now I have this perfect kiss mark of blood on my job list. Blood is only pretty when it's fresh, such a perfect crimson, but then it turns a remarkably dull brown when dry.
Roses are too poetically perfect. Beautiful, delicate, fragile, hard to grow, fragrant, but covered in sharp spikes. What the hell! Can't we do better than this? It's so cliched. I'm going to go eat some damned seedless grapes.
Zusty reminded me to take a look at the new Spiderman Trailer. I'm actually impressed. I think they might just pull it off, as it appears they are not totally taking themselves seriously, while not going really campy and making you not give a fuck about any of the characters. Yeah, it's a trailer, just about any movie looks good in a trailer (except "American outlaws" which I will refrain from linking) so I'll wait for the reviews. Then I'll see it on the same day it comes out, like the big dork I am.
(0) comments
|11:43 AM| Ah, JP is back to updating. JP was one of the many seeds off the dandelion that was @Home, caught in a gale the fragile company blew apart. Thrown to the mercy of the lion's pit of ISPs that gobbled the cable modem accounts like mellowcreme pumpkins, JP had no way to inflict his mind on the populace at large. Seeing a sudden downturn in both creativity and foul thinking the world over, JP one again grapples with the demons ensconsed in a mad gamer's brain. Though I would like nothing more than to link you to this document, this exibit of the heart of JP, I must bow to paranoia and ask first. I promise that I will deliver the proper links just as soon as I am given authorization.
(0) comments
|11:29 AM| It's friday, and I'm trying to lift weights at work. I tried to do more pull ups in front of the Dell buildings while Vid was smoking, but I could only do one more than usual, and then I slipped and got my butt covered in mud. Buttocks, tuckus, meh, I usually only use "butt" when I'm talking about people acting like bees and getting pollen on their butts.
My dumbell is so rusty that it has to be kept wrapped in a trashbag, making my lifting look even more ridiculous than usual. I have only a few more days until I leave town. I'm excited to see my old friends, but we've all changed so much. I'm sounding lamer by the second, but some of the people I knew have been to institutions, some are almost done with college, some are dead, some are just dead to the world. I haven't had the closest contact with some of them, a couple I haven't talked to in years. I'm still the crazy guy, but I'm skinnier, more mature, and happier than these people have ever seen me. It's going to be incredibly strange, but at least it will be a fascinating time.
This will be the location of the lesbian underwear for sale site. The woman pictured liked the filler text "Insert things here" so for the moment it has been left in place.
(0) comments
Thursday, December 13, 2001
|7:04 PM| |Long Arms, Tiny Hands|
I am no longer plagued by fatigue. I was a zombie for the past 4 days or so, as my boss can attest. I spent most of Wedensday under my desk trying to sleep. The use of incredible amounts of caffiene and Sobe have re-awakened me. I now desperately need to shave.
I have a mere 3 work days to deal with before I run off towards Chicago. Sadly, I do not think I will be able to get Christmas gifts for my friends, or possibly my family, as I have recently found out that I will not be paid for most of my Christmas vacation. My "boss" says he will be trying to find something for us to do during this vacation time, so if I want to get paid, I might be able to swing a few work days. I don't know what I will do. I risk a lot of things by not working for basically a pay period. Things like rent, and food. Last Christmas saw me broke, crawling back as a new hire to my old, hated job. I don't know what state I will be in this coming January.
In odd news, I may or may not be selling the underwear of a lesbian on this very site. Stay tuned for underoo related updates.
I want to point out Rock Epidemic's link "Lost in the Contraption". Rock is the mastermind behind this web pages look and feel, as well as the upcoming underwear selling website. Let's all say hi and such.
Added: I caught myself saying "y'all" today. I wonder how long that's been happening.
(0) comments
|5:10 AM| I am still plagued by fatigue
(0) comments
Wednesday, December 12, 2001
|12:36 PM| The Workcam is back up and running. Hooray!
(0) comments
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
|11:52 PM| You know, the solutions I find to my various issues still suprise me sometimes. I was feeling awfully down and lonely, and like I wasn't accomplishing anything.
Now I have an enormous bag of new underwear. I needed at least one set of new boxers after a stripper destroyed my favorite pair (The bright red ones with a bunch of fish on them). Geez, that stripper wrapped my belt around my neck and bucked me wildly. Crazy. So what the hell was I talking about? Oh, underwear. New boxers will make it seem as though you did something today. I promise.
(0) comments
Monday, December 10, 2001
|4:20 PM| Just when the horrible apathy nearly claimed me, just when the laziness and hatred of being at work nearly caused me to stop breathing, I received emails from two very good friends, and I found that Lampshade has updated. Too bad the update she made is an explanation that she won't be updating for some time to come, I hope whatever it is she is up to works out.
The emails I received were from an old friend from Chicago, and dear old Zusty, respectively. JP and Zusty have apparently made it to Madison safe and sound, and about as sane as when they left. I'm glad to hear it. The friend from Chicago has given me some interesting ideas on what to do with the mess of vacation days I have found myself in possesion of, unexpectedly. I really need to pick up some car insurance before I hit the road again, though. I think that's this week's project.
Now all I have to do is find a way for my parents to not hire gangs of killers to rip out my bones for possibly skipping Christmas. Bizzare new threat, thought of while brushing my hair: "I will slick back my hair with fingers drenched in your blood". But I was in a foul mood while dealing with my hair, so don't hold such thoughts against me.
Dammit, I want to go home.
(0) comments
|12:32 AM| I wonder if I should have joined the military. The marines would have taught me organization through force, would have hardened my physical form, and brutally twisted my mind to always fit in, where ever I went. I would have known only duty, and only have done what was needed to be done. I would have defended the people I respect, and I would have done that which my family had done before. They would have eventually paid for college, and they might not get me killed.
This is a crappy line of thinking. I'm just curious what the price of ignorance is.
(0) comments
Sunday, December 09, 2001
|2:37 AM| Apparently Karla and JP have been loading up the van and by now have left for Madison. I wish them luck. I miss hearing from them. I miss hearing from dear old Lampshade as well.
The idea of using a free weight while I'm futzing around on the computer seems to be working, my arms seem stronger after only a few days. It does mean that I need to keep padding under my elbows or bad things happen. Now all I have to do is work on making my six pack visible. Huzzah.
Finally got my paycheck, trying to make this one count.
(0) comments