From what I'm told, many of the people I care about had shitty days, and I hope they all find that Saturday treats them a lot more nicely. I'm going to try to wake up and get something useful accomplished.

*Ring* *Ring* "Print Services"
"Cecil, why did you print up a bath tub absinthe recipe?"
"Lies! I did no such thing!"
"It has your user name, and it's right next to color pictures of you driving to different states. I thought you said you were sick"
"uhhhh Prank Call! my name is BOB!"

Why continue to risk my job? Office work sucks so much that you really stop caring.

Sheesh, listen to me. bitch bitch bitch. You'd think I had something to complain about. Well, I should get back to all these people who can't print because they are too stupid to read the emails we sent around.

I vacuumed under my desk in case I need a place to nap. I wish I had some weights here at work, or something to improve my shape.

I find this article to be most distressing. And the survey at the end is also something I am unhappy with. True, it was only a thousand people, and we don't know how random it was, but those kinds of opinions are the ones that get us in trouble.

I paged myself some garbage (the above is the actual transcript) to get away from the office. I set the loudest alarm possible and fumbled around with the pager for a couple seconds, but sadly I was stopped. One of my co-workers was on to my ruse, as he too wished to desperately leave the office. He has now run off in my place, probably to smoke. Curses, foiled again.

Saw scanners last night, I really liked that movie though they had an awful lot of violence for gore splatter's sake. It did have a particular creepy edge to it that I thought really worked.

Why does a person fall in love with someone else? What keeps them in love? What makes one person matter that person more than anyone (or at least most) other people on earth?
I'm sure you've seen relationships where the person or people who were in love just didn't quite make sense, Or that other, more stable, helpful or "better" people were around for that person
I didn't figure it all out. But something occurred to me while I was walking around my room.

People you love, either as just a friend, or someone you feel true pure passion for, make things interesting. They fascinate you, and anything plus that person also interest you. I only enjoyed clothes shopping once in my entire life and that was when I was with this girl I was in love with. It goes the same for people you're in love with in just a friendly sense. Seeing things through their eyes makes things seem more interesting. You give people you love the book you just finished or show them a piece of art you like, and them seeing it for the first time is just as good as when you saw it for the first time. It's interesting again. Living life becomes interesting all the way around because you're living it with someone else, and seeing it through their eyes as well as yours.

I was just thinking about how you can't make things "new" to yourself again, but if you show them to other people that you have a good connection with, then it's almost like it's new to you again, because you get to see their reaction. Then I extended it. I thought about times that I should have been bored or unhappy and instead I enjoyed myself. I normally don't go on walks, but whenever I see JP I end up going on a walk with him, and it seems nifty, because it's with JP. When I went out on that walk with you characters, it was fun and interesting because you are my friends. I know I pass lots of stuff (or I did more so in the past) on to the female friend of mine at Colgate.
It ties into my idea that a loving relationship between two people is not one of surrender or sacrifice, but of mutual aid in growing as humans. And making life and the daily routine interesting is a huge boost. I remember while you were here that getting home wasn't boring or annoying because I could just call you and hang out. I remember back in high school that during the weekends I could get in touch with Greg and we could just drive around the countryside and that was great fun. I could walk along the beach with a couple people and that was the best evening imaginable.
I'm trying to recall a time I was bored with people I loved, and I'm having a lot of trouble recalling one instance.

Christ, when we all went grocery shopping [in Arizona] that was a damn blast. Hell, DRIVING 17 blasted hours? 3 years ago I couldn't imagine a more horrible torture. now I love road trips, but now I realize it's because of the people in the car, or at the other end of the line. I was staring at my Corolla (I could see it from the balcony) at Joe's on Saturday and was trying to figure out "why is that car fun?"

I went along on a car ride to take my buddy JP home, and its purpose was a depressing one, but despite this I had a lot of fun because it was 3 of my best friends all stuffed into a car with me for 3 hours with nothing to do except talk.

I was trying to think of something spectacular to do, something just off the wall.
I was going to sell as much of my stuff as possible, put the rest into storage, and try to get to Russia. How hard can it be to get to Russia if you can't afford plane tickets? I was pumped. It seemed exciting. But then I realized it seemed exciting because telling people I gave a damn about that I was doing so crazy was what was driving me on. Sure, I'd have a blast, but I could have a good time doing things less damaging to my career, but they aren't as nifty to talk about at parties. But now I think it'd be just as cool if I was telling my friends.

I'm sitting here at work, desperately wanting to make 3 phone calls, to make certain a variety of things happen or don't happen, such as my power being turned off and my drugs being paid for. I can justify calling my contract agency, but the electric company and SWbell would be stretching it. Shit. I just want to let them know there has been a mistake, there's been a foul up and that I have their money, just let me pay and don't cut off my damn power.

1 hour left. I may just sneak off and make the payments on the sly. Geez.

Erin W. may or may not be reading this crap, so, hello Erin! How goes it?

Obviously, I can't just decide on this from one session of thinking about it while I am shaving and getting dressed. I'm going to sleep on it, spend the week mulling it over and seeing what my options are. If it looks like I will starve to death if I pursue this, I'll have to figure out if it it's worth it. I'm also very fickly by nature, can I be sure I will feel this pumped in the morning? And if not, then why? I've been obsessed by things for years in the past, what is another several decades?

Just writing this makes it seem silly. "What does he do?" "Oh, he builds robots". But, who gives a damn about what other people say if I'm doing something meaningful that also happens to pay the bills? I can't second guess myself because other people don't agree with it.
Anyway, I have to go do my chores. I can't sit around thinking what I'm going to be doing in the glorious future if I can't get what I should be doing accomplished right now.