|11:58 PM| ALRIGHT! I got the archive page working. Kind of. Well, it works and you can read old posts and that's what's really important. The like is on the side there, under backups. Woooooo!
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|10:11 PM| I should get that archive page working. Seems like a good thing to do.
I'm going out to Dave and Busters, Vorpal and I may meet goons, we may not. I myself do not know what this evening will shape up to be. I'll update when I have something to say.
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|5:23 PM| I had a dream that I was falling. Not flying or running, I was falling out of space, towards earth. I started to heat up from re-entry friction, and then I was burning. My entire field of vision turned red, and my limbs began to burn off. The pain was incredible, and I opened my rapidly burning mouth to scream, and from a third person view I could see my jaw torn out as the wind resistance yanked my jaw open to the size of a trash bag. As I quickly became nothing more than a stunted torso and stream-lined head, the only thing that passed through my head was "Oh man, I'm a weeble wobble". I would have laughed if I still had a jaw at the time.
That's about when I slammed into the earth and the dream ended. Strange kind of night.
From what I'm told, many of the people I care about had shitty days, and I hope they all find that Saturday treats them a lot more nicely. I'm going to try to wake up and get something useful accomplished.
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Friday, November 16, 2001
|6:09 PM| I would like to point out the fact that Zusty is Drawing attention to both myself and Bezzy. Thank you.
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|1:35 PM| Ah, Bezzy. You get your ass over the big puddle and I'll take care of some of your transportations. I'll take you all over the US in my Corolla beast, tentatively named "Jet Alone" or possibly "Gatsu", maybe "TikTok". If you think you can come up with a better name for my car, please email me.
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|12:41 PM| Christ, this damn computer keeps trying to send all my print jobs to the executives. And yes, I have changed the default printer. I've become very good at cancelling on the fly, though.
*Ring* *Ring* "Print Services"
"Cecil, why did you print up a bath tub absinthe recipe?"
"Lies! I did no such thing!"
"It has your user name, and it's right next to color pictures of you driving to different states. I thought you said you were sick"
"uhhhh Prank Call! my name is BOB!"
Why continue to risk my job? Office work sucks so much that you really stop caring.
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Thursday, November 15, 2001
|10:05 PM| Good LORD. Worst storm in 20 years they say. I believe 'em. The lightning is still blasting across the sky, rippling across like electric dragons. I saw a power transformer explode on the way home from work. The whole of the sky lit up as brightly as a neon kitchen light, I yelled a choice obscenity and a finger of lighting reached down and struck something far off the right hand side of the car, something that exploded in a huge sphere of sapphire blue light. That's when all the street lights went out. The crack of thunder was so typical of bad movies from the 1950's it wouldn't have been shocking if it had not been world endingly loud. I continued to forge rivers that used to be intersections.
Shortly before they lost power (and were subsequently captured by the empire) Dell sent an email around that told employees they should delay their departure from work until more favorable conditions arose. I took this as a hint that the traffic would be light outside of Dell, and I was right! Before you call me foolish, conditions only worsened into the night, and had I left a few minutes later getting home would have been impossible. I saw intersections I had crossed minutes before on the news at Vorpal's place as now completely flooded. Several times I thought I would be swept off the road. Waiting to leave with all the other Dell people would have only increased the danger. I did the right thing, got home, and ate a pizza. AAAND I got to use "Electric Dragon" be glad I didn't use "unfurling their tails". I still wish to use "peel of thunder" but that can wait until later on tonight.
Man, I should win the "Shut the fuck up" award. What is this, like 5 updates in one day? Christ.
Oh, Vorpal talked to Spook. Seems he's in town but doesn't want any goonery until he gets settled. That's fine with me. I'll hook up with him later and show him around town. Or attempt to have anal sex(check Oct 21) with him, which ever strikes my fancy at the time.
Oh, and Sign my guestbook
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|4:14 PM| Holy living...(shoot, I'm trying to swear less)....We've got Tornado warnings out the wazzoo here. I can feel the pressure changing in my head and the door keeps slamming as air balances and equalizes. I looked outside and someone has mailed us the ocean, C.O.D.
It's LOUD and violent out there. It's incredible. Hopefully I won't drown when I go outside.
[edit]
Whoa! Just lost power here at Dell for a few minutes. My computer stayed on but everything else shutdown. Internet connectivity, phones, lights. It's wacky. I wonder if we are on backup power. It's CRAZY outside!
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|4:04 PM| Wow. That rules. Thanks Zusty.
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|2:22 PM| WHOOPS. I just sent a couple print jobs to the Wrong printer.
"So what?" You may ask, well, you see I'm bored and at work. So I'm printing out bizzare images and images of people I know. "Oh, so?" Well, those jobs went to a printer in an abandoned building. This abandoned building was the selected site for a meeting of lexmark bigwigs, due to it being abandoned. "Again, what's the big deal?" well, this printer was the one I've been sending all of the stuff they've been having me print. Like, all the presentation material for the big wigs. So, it's very possible that ridiculous images of people I know are about to be passed around to Lexmark big wigs in place of an actual proposal for Dell's printing environment. "Oh dear, you're quite fucked, aren't you?"
Why, yes I am! So, anyway, I'm no longer tired. Racing back to my computer to cancel the job only to see it vanish into the maw of the printer can wake you up quite well.
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|1:07 PM| highlight of day so far: My nose is whistling.
Someone please shoot me.
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|12:01 PM| Damned phone.
I have the office all to myself today. I'm really damned tired. I keep meaning to go to bed early, but things keep coming up, like last night's bomb threat. Derek and I were driving around Time Warner when we noticed it was surrounded by cop cars (I used to work there, and Derek still does, in the Road Runner call center). He got on aim and found out that a briefcase was found in the lobby, and no one had been allowed to leave the building since 3pm that day. It was now 7:30pm. We thought it was odd that if it was a bomb threat that they keep everyone inside, but the possibility of a biological attack remained. They evacuated the building so Derek and I headed over to stand with out friends and wait to get blown up. The bomb squad showed up, they used a "disruptor" (high pressure water cannon) to open the brief case and try to detect if it explodes or not. A while later the all clear came, and Derek and I left.
I guess I'm just not going to get a decent amount of sleep in the near future. I'm averaging about 3-4 hours a night. I'm a zombie at work and I need to take naps. Since naps can only be taken under my desk and last as long as the space between phone calls, I'm not getting a lot of rest.
Sheesh, listen to me. bitch bitch bitch. You'd think I had something to complain about. Well, I should get back to all these people who can't print because they are too stupid to read the emails we sent around.
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|12:01 AM| Maaaan, there just isn't any LOVE! I'm not feeling the LOVE. No calls back on my messages, no emails returned...I'm some kind of internet social leper! What a terrible fate.
I get the whole office to myself tomorrow, meaning I may not bother to wear pants. Oh, fine, I'll leave my pants on in case the unforeseen occurs like a female volleyball team wanders in. (This happened in the men's locker room in high school once, since the men's locker room had the only cold water fountain. But Cecil, this is a perfect pick up opportunity! Not so, says I. This is Chicago, and it's chilly, and, well, this says it all.
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Wednesday, November 14, 2001
|5:38 PM| The Dell campus is one of the oddest smelling places I've ever worked at. Every week or so there is some ghastly stench in Round Rock 1 (my HQ). But today, it rained, and as I walked out of Round Rock 2, it smelled just like grapes. A fresh bunch, like you just pulled it out of the bag and jammed your face into it. I could almost taste them on my tongue, and feel the skin break under my teeth.
I walked a short distance and suddenly it smelled just like the inside of one of those old plastic lunch boxes, the kind you would see muppets cavorting on. It was highly peculiar.
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|2:27 PM| You'd think by slapping wheels on the bottom of a 70 pound printer, you'd be able to move it more effectively. But sadly, though the wheels offer greater mobility the method by which the printer is balanced on top of them requires me to stoop in the most unusual fashion and and hold a handle at an odd angle. I also had to "hustle" as well as running through rain, so now I'm a big sweaty dispatcher, waiting for the end of my shift so I can go home and take some advil. It's amazing how the addition of bad posture and a big broken printer cart can turn a half mile into so much more distance than you thought. Did I mention I had to dodge pedestrians at high speed? I had fun though, I should have brought a little siren.
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|11:50 AM| Daaaaisy, daaaisy, give me your answer, do.
The song is not called "Daisy" as HAL claimed, it is actually "A bicycle built for two" and I now have several different versions of it. I'm playing them at work and I feel like I'm melting into my chair. Gah! The disney version of this is not cool at all. If I wasn't so sluggish I could turn it off more quickly.
KDI still has not caught on to my continued use of my old web account. Since they were aquired by on ramp I'm sure it will be some time before anyone does notice. Until then, I'm using the free webhosting for .mp3s that I wish to share. Here is the Acoustic version of Daisy. Here is an old E3 picture I came across while backing up my hard drive, and this is the other one.
I vacuumed under my desk in case I need a place to nap. I wish I had some weights here at work, or something to improve my shape.
I find this article to be most distressing. And the survey at the end is also something I am unhappy with. True, it was only a thousand people, and we don't know how random it was, but those kinds of opinions are the ones that get us in trouble.
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Tuesday, November 13, 2001
|10:52 PM| I will cut my swearing down to that of normal humans by the end of this month.
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|9:51 PM| Our system has been shocked!! But rememeber to Salt The Fries
System Shock can no longer run due to a fatal error.
Error code 3007
Memory error
Not enough memory to make email cursor!
Common problem solutions:
* Increase FILES in config.sys to 30 or more.
* Disable SMARTDRV write caching
* Use a minimal config.sys and autoexec.bat
If none of these work, call Origin Tech Support
(512) 335-0440
DRAT. DRAT. DRAT.
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|7:32 PM| Damned GLASS. Not philip, the stuff that came off my lamp! I somehow found another tiny tiny piece of it. I've vacumend this room many times since I broke that light. I don't know where it is all hiding. time to dig it out of my foot.
Yesterday I tried to demonstrate the wrong ways for primates to walk and give birth, and one of them was bending over backwards and putting my hands down, so my body made a crude arch. Not very interesting, until you try to walk like that. I can't quite get my body to understand the proper locomotion for such a position. Oh, and my knees made popping noises like a bunch of beatniks snapping their fingers. I made an eek noise when I heard them do that.
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|1:27 PM| Slow lazy day, it would seem by the other blogs and diaries I am reading. I am relaxing in my $500 office chair (paid for by other people) and forcing Dan Bern on my co-workers. Maybe there is some truth to all that biorythm hogwash I'd heard about in the early ninties. Despite a fairly busy day of crap here at work, I still feel as though it's a slow, lie in the sun kind of day. I haven't spent a long period of time in the sun in months. The car doesn't count. I should organize a picnic.
VORPAL! YOU WANT A FUCKIN' PICNIC OR WHAT?
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|11:52 AM| URGENT. Rockin' pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu have broken out in RR7. Requesting fire support. You have nothing to fear except PH334 itself. Meep! Contact Robert Morton x31337
GRAND CENTRAL: NOON
HACK THE PLANET
I paged myself some garbage (the above is the actual transcript) to get away from the office. I set the loudest alarm possible and fumbled around with the pager for a couple seconds, but sadly I was stopped. One of my co-workers was on to my ruse, as he too wished to desperately leave the office. He has now run off in my place, probably to smoke. Curses, foiled again.
Saw scanners last night, I really liked that movie though they had an awful lot of violence for gore splatter's sake. It did have a particular creepy edge to it that I thought really worked.
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|1:27 AM| I read the CNN coverage on the plane, and found out it was random horrible tradgedy, as oppossed to directed horror. I find I am not very comforted by the idea since both seem so possible nowadays. I can't say that I am filled with fear, I'm just a simple creature trying to figure out which way to swivel my head and hope there is a tree nearby. I clip my fingernails, and I file them. Then I work on the cuticles, and I re-file the ends. I was never taught how to take care of my nails, I just keep this little kit with me for nail maitenance. It's almost like a security blanket. In the scheme of things, the length of my toenails and fingernails mean about as little as could possibly be, but a simple act that I taught myself is comforting. Damn, clipped my thumb too close. I should have someone who knows something about finger maintanence teach me.
I'm going on for line after line about my fucking fingers. I worked with someone who was on flight 800, all those years ago. I wouldn't have know if an educational fund hadn't been set up. I don't want to go back to feeling "safe and secure", when we really don't seem to be. I still think I should know where the possible threats are coming from. I'm still going to fly, I'm still going to check my mail in the morning. The kind of random, sudden nature of it all is not something you can predict, only prepare for. I'll just do my best to keep living and appreciating what I have and what I could have.
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Monday, November 12, 2001
|7:32 PM| This post is a modified and edited conversation I had with someone earlier. If the flow is a bit off and the paragraph structure a little wonky, please forgive me. But I think I did an okay job getting my idea out, so here we go. Oh, I did add a couple items for clarification in brackets.
Why does a person fall in love with someone else? What keeps them in love? What makes one person matter that person more than anyone (or at least most) other people on earth?
I'm sure you've seen relationships where the person or people who were in love just didn't quite make sense, Or that other, more stable, helpful or "better" people were around for that person
I didn't figure it all out. But something occurred to me while I was walking around my room.
People you love, either as just a friend, or someone you feel true pure passion for, make things interesting. They fascinate you, and anything plus that person also interest you. I only enjoyed clothes shopping once in my entire life and that was when I was with this girl I was in love with. It goes the same for people you're in love with in just a friendly sense. Seeing things through their eyes makes things seem more interesting. You give people you love the book you just finished or show them a piece of art you like, and them seeing it for the first time is just as good as when you saw it for the first time. It's interesting again. Living life becomes interesting all the way around because you're living it with someone else, and seeing it through their eyes as well as yours.
I was just thinking about how you can't make things "new" to yourself again, but if you show them to other people that you have a good connection with, then it's almost like it's new to you again, because you get to see their reaction. Then I extended it. I thought about times that I should have been bored or unhappy and instead I enjoyed myself. I normally don't go on walks, but whenever I see JP I end up going on a walk with him, and it seems nifty, because it's with JP. When I went out on that walk with you characters, it was fun and interesting because you are my friends. I know I pass lots of stuff (or I did more so in the past) on to the female friend of mine at Colgate.
It ties into my idea that a loving relationship between two people is not one of surrender or sacrifice, but of mutual aid in growing as humans. And making life and the daily routine interesting is a huge boost. I remember while you were here that getting home wasn't boring or annoying because I could just call you and hang out. I remember back in high school that during the weekends I could get in touch with Greg and we could just drive around the countryside and that was great fun. I could walk along the beach with a couple people and that was the best evening imaginable.
I'm trying to recall a time I was bored with people I loved, and I'm having a lot of trouble recalling one instance.
Christ, when we all went grocery shopping [in Arizona] that was a damn blast. Hell, DRIVING 17 blasted hours? 3 years ago I couldn't imagine a more horrible torture. now I love road trips, but now I realize it's because of the people in the car, or at the other end of the line. I was staring at my Corolla (I could see it from the balcony) at Joe's on Saturday and was trying to figure out "why is that car fun?"
I went along on a car ride to take my buddy JP home, and its purpose was a depressing one, but despite this I had a lot of fun because it was 3 of my best friends all stuffed into a car with me for 3 hours with nothing to do except talk.
I was trying to think of something spectacular to do, something just off the wall.
I was going to sell as much of my stuff as possible, put the rest into storage, and try to get to Russia. How hard can it be to get to Russia if you can't afford plane tickets? I was pumped. It seemed exciting. But then I realized it seemed exciting because telling people I gave a damn about that I was doing so crazy was what was driving me on. Sure, I'd have a blast, but I could have a good time doing things less damaging to my career, but they aren't as nifty to talk about at parties. But now I think it'd be just as cool if I was telling my friends.
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|4:35 PM| Well shoot. Looks like Vetran's day has all the utility companies taking the day off. I supposse that makes sense. Great.
Guess this one's going to collections. I hate that. It's going to be a long, dark kind of week. Well, I'm not sure when the power is cut off, that's this last letter that I don't want to open, because I'll find out it's last week and I've been living on borrowed time ever since. I'll just get these guys their money (Which I have) and that will be the end of this.
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|3:56 PM| My Grandfather was in the Army. My Father was in the Navy, and I'm a bum. I don't know how many generations military service go back in my family, but I don't think I'm breaking any sort of tradition. I think of it as my family having paid it's dues. Hell, I haven't even gone to college. Maybe I'm that relative everyone can look to and say "Don't be like him". Well, unfortunately the rest of my family is a bunch of alcoholic, crack addict, completely insane people. What the hell was I talking about again? Or yeah, military service. I think it's important, but just not something I'd best serve my country doing. I'll pay my taxes, and I'll pay my respects.
I'm sitting here at work, desperately wanting to make 3 phone calls, to make certain a variety of things happen or don't happen, such as my power being turned off and my drugs being paid for. I can justify calling my contract agency, but the electric company and SWbell would be stretching it. Shit. I just want to let them know there has been a mistake, there's been a foul up and that I have their money, just let me pay and don't cut off my damn power.
1 hour left. I may just sneak off and make the payments on the sly. Geez.
Erin W. may or may not be reading this crap, so, hello Erin! How goes it?
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Sunday, November 11, 2001
|11:31 PM| Read and stuff! The joke that Zusty refers to is a very special one, one I keep close to my heart for self defense reasons.
I am the poor soul being set on fire. My buddy Thomas drew this strip in response to the overwhelming effect the pirate joke had on him. He spat blood and saw God, so I think it was pretty impressive.
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|7:39 PM| What defines me as a human, or more to the point, as a geek? What particular point of the entire range of technological fronts most holds my interest? It's time for me to figure this out, because all my pontificating and posturing about going back to school or becoming a better human doesn't mean squat if I can't figure out what I want from my education. I never wanted to settle on one field, because they all interest me to a certain extent. I think I have found one particular field that can grab my attention and is varied enough so I can always get distracted by something within my field. It may sound silly, but I'm going to learn as much as I can about robotics. Not just autonomous mechanical beings, but also more basic but useful applications like mechanical limbs, improved construction processes, better movement studies. To group robotics into a single field of study is an act of hubris and lunacy, since if you get right down to it just about every field of technology gets involved. I could learn about machine shop code, alloy construction, the nitty gritty of actually building something to replace natural organisms. I know there is no artificial limb out there that anyone would want in place of a fully functional, "i was born with it" arm. The control of such things is a programming language field in an of itself. How the heck can you have a device the size of my pinkie nail that contains no moving parts yet can decide what a device should do if it detects light but no sound? It's mind blowing. I have to focus, I can't dance around each field. I have to find what I'm suited for and pursue it. It's a real "don't look back, just plunge forward" situation. If I do this, when I do this, I abandon anything else I was working on. I can't second guess myself and all other actions must be in the same vein. I may be programming a game for a man in 1 month, but I'm doing that for further funding, I'm not a game programmer.
Obviously, I can't just decide on this from one session of thinking about it while I am shaving and getting dressed. I'm going to sleep on it, spend the week mulling it over and seeing what my options are. If it looks like I will starve to death if I pursue this, I'll have to figure out if it it's worth it. I'm also very fickly by nature, can I be sure I will feel this pumped in the morning? And if not, then why? I've been obsessed by things for years in the past, what is another several decades?
Just writing this makes it seem silly. "What does he do?" "Oh, he builds robots". But, who gives a damn about what other people say if I'm doing something meaningful that also happens to pay the bills? I can't second guess myself because other people don't agree with it.
Anyway, I have to go do my chores. I can't sit around thinking what I'm going to be doing in the glorious future if I can't get what I should be doing accomplished right now.
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|6:20 PM| Why oh WHY am I updating? That is because I am avoiding cleaning my room. I'm actually avoiding cleaning my entire house, but at the moment I am in my bedroom so I'm avoiding cleaning that. I'm somewhat tired, as I was up until 6:20 this morning, and tommorow I have work. My place of work does not recognize vetran's day as a holiday that will get me off of work.
I wish I had something to talk about. I just got off the phone with a friend of mine, who I obviously was boring to death trying to explain first my trip to Arizona, the ass-slapping party, and how JP and Zusty had to visit Austin to meet each other instead of flying to each other's respective states. Normally I keep myself in check while my jaw flaps violently, spewing saliva and idiot wind, by occasionally asking "So what are you up to?" but I broke some kind of record today. I made blah blah noises for 18 straight minutes and then the person decided they'd call back later. I'm such a jerk.
What was I doing? Oh, waiting for the caffiene to kick in so I can go clean. That's right. DOWN WITH ANOTHER COKE COLA. INTO MY THROAT YOU SHALL GO.
Yeesh. This place is a wreck.
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|6:08 AM| I spent the evening celebrating the Marine Corps birthday at a friends' house. Well, that was the excuse for heavy drinking and drug use, but who am I to argue? The whole evening was fairly surreal. Some highlights would be where we were all running around slapping each other on the ass with belts, paddles and riding crops. I bonded with a nice male friend when were given a private showing of a girl's Saturday underwear, and then bared our asses in exchange for her baring her own.
"Dude, she was talking?" I caught most of the damage that evening when the riding crop was brought in to settle some scores, and I was in the path of some vigorous backswings. Even though I was not the intended target, I was yelling OW and jumping backwards to protect my sensitive face.
Yeah, so I didn't get much more action than that, but I had pretty good time nontheless.
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