Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Offensive, and Ogden Nash |10:34 PM| A request from my girlfriend:
" please refrain from using statements such as: I wanted to create a wound in her nostril and shove my cock into her bloody orifice.
I liked the part about dancing, but it was dwarfed by thoughts of : why am I dating someone this sick?"
I distracted her with links to Ogden Nash. This seemed to calm her down somewhat.
I want to be Ogden Nash. I don't know why, it's not like his poetry reaches into my soul and flips switches like some other works of art do. But it's like they fit into the flow of my day better than any small talk. I want an MP3 player and external speakers, and anytime someone is getting into a discussion about the weather or something of that nature, I hold up a little flag and instead we listen to a poem by Ogden Nash read by a variety of people. Some famous, some not.
On Famous People:
Wonderlust: tom cruise?
Me: No.
Wonderlust: why can't tom cruise read ogden nash?
Me: Because.
Wonderlust: because
Wonderlust: why not
Wonderlust: I want you to tell me why not in 50 words or [Less].
Me: Tom cruise would try to hard to not try to hard and it would come out in a forced relaxed tone, as if he was trying to defecate while on the phone, without alerting the caller to his actions.
Wonderlust: ok, I agree
Offensive, and Ogden Nash |10:34 PM| A request from my girlfriend:
" please refrain from using statements such as: I wanted to create a wound in her nostril and shove my cock into her bloody orifice.
I liked the part about dancing, but it was dwarfed by thoughts of : why am I dating someone this sick?"
I distracted her with links to Ogden Nash. This seemed to calm her down somewhat.
I want to be Ogden Nash. I don't know why, it's not like his poetry reaches into my soul and flips switches like some other works of art do. But it's like they fit into the flow of my day better than any small talk. I want an MP3 player and external speakers, and anytime someone is getting into a discussion about the weather or something of that nature, I hold up a little flag and instead we listen to a poem by Ogden Nash read by a variety of people. Some famous, some not.
On Famous People:
Wonderlust: tom cruise?
Me: No.
Wonderlust: why can't tom cruise read ogden nash?
Me: Because.
Wonderlust: because
Wonderlust: why not
Wonderlust: I want you to tell me why not in 50 words or [Less].
Me: Tom cruise would try to hard to not try to hard and it would come out in a forced relaxed tone, as if he was trying to defecate while on the phone, without alerting the caller to his actions.
Wonderlust: ok, I agree
2 Comments:
I would like to hear Ogden Nash read by Jennifer Tilly or maybe Joey Lauren Adams. "One end is moo the other is milk" would take on an entirely different meaning.
By 
, at
3:01 PM
Are you calling Jennifer Tilly a fat cow?
How insensitive!
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