Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Later, gator. |12:53 PM| The other day I was discussing Alligators and their distress calls with a couple of friends. From my understanding, any alligator, male or female, who hears the distress cry of an infant alligator will respond, and with aggression.
I had this idea, for a murder mystery scenario, what if you got your hands on someone's cell phone, and changed one of the custom ringtones to the distress cry? Now all you have to do is get them near some alligators, and call them.
Even if the cops found enough chunks to ID the guy, they'd just assume he pissed off the wrong Alligator mississippiensis.
There was something else I meant to bring up, but I totally forgot. Here is the sound of baby alligators asking for help.
alligatordistress.mp3
Don't play this at the zoo.
Update: Now I remember. I wanted to let you folks know about a mnemonic device I came up with, for dealing with alligator attacks. Here's the thing, if you're confronted with what you think may be a coral snake, and you're trying to remember if it's red on yellow, harm a fellow, or if it's black on red, no friend of jack, here's an idea, get the fuck away from the goddamn snake. You're a human, you've got thumbs. Get a rock and throw it at the goddamn thing if for some reason you need to fuck around with what might be a deadly snake. I dunno, maybe it's between you and the fire exit and the hotel is burning down. Maybe it's on top of the neighbor's phone and you have to report a gas leak.
Anyhow, my mnemonic device is the other way around, you're not going to have time to think of it if the situation comes up. It's for escaping from alligators, as they can run at up to 30 miles an hour, but only in a straight line. So, zig zag, don't get snagged.
Problem is, if a goddamn prehistoric monster comes at you, running 30 miles an hour, fronting a biological bear trap, you're not really going to be in a state of mind conducive to remembering cute rhymes. I'm pretty sure the only rhyme that would be passing through my mind is "FUCK. FUCK A DUCK."
Later, gator. |12:53 PM| The other day I was discussing Alligators and their distress calls with a couple of friends. From my understanding, any alligator, male or female, who hears the distress cry of an infant alligator will respond, and with aggression.
I had this idea, for a murder mystery scenario, what if you got your hands on someone's cell phone, and changed one of the custom ringtones to the distress cry? Now all you have to do is get them near some alligators, and call them.
Even if the cops found enough chunks to ID the guy, they'd just assume he pissed off the wrong Alligator mississippiensis.
There was something else I meant to bring up, but I totally forgot. Here is the sound of baby alligators asking for help.
alligatordistress.mp3
Don't play this at the zoo.
Update: Now I remember. I wanted to let you folks know about a mnemonic device I came up with, for dealing with alligator attacks. Here's the thing, if you're confronted with what you think may be a coral snake, and you're trying to remember if it's red on yellow, harm a fellow, or if it's black on red, no friend of jack, here's an idea, get the fuck away from the goddamn snake. You're a human, you've got thumbs. Get a rock and throw it at the goddamn thing if for some reason you need to fuck around with what might be a deadly snake. I dunno, maybe it's between you and the fire exit and the hotel is burning down. Maybe it's on top of the neighbor's phone and you have to report a gas leak.
Anyhow, my mnemonic device is the other way around, you're not going to have time to think of it if the situation comes up. It's for escaping from alligators, as they can run at up to 30 miles an hour, but only in a straight line. So, zig zag, don't get snagged.
Problem is, if a goddamn prehistoric monster comes at you, running 30 miles an hour, fronting a biological bear trap, you're not really going to be in a state of mind conducive to remembering cute rhymes. I'm pretty sure the only rhyme that would be passing through my mind is "FUCK. FUCK A DUCK."
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