Friday, April 01, 2005
Grocery Store Tips |6:35 PM| Here's goddamn conversational ProTip:
If you think you might be the subject of the heated discussion between the people waiting behind you in a line, here's a general way of making sure. Are you a pathetic, miserly old woman, devoid of logic and people skills? Are you holding up a grocery checkout for several ice ages? Are you holding up the line over a price dispute on yogurt, a price dispute of THIRTY FUCKING CENTS on 3 FUCKING ITEMS?
ARE YOU? Did you demand that they send a clerk to check the shelf, and then continue arguing the point with the cashier, once he got back confirming the price? Is there a man with odd hair and a live fish in a bag, who has already unloaded his items onto the belt, holding a five dollar bill waiting to offer it to the cashier to settle this debate?
WELL GUESS WHAT. You ARE the subject of the conversation, and YES, that guy DID just say he was going to "Gut her, hollow out a space and carve a fucking bookshelf out of her corpse".
You better pretend you didn't hear that, and leave to go check the shelf price yourself, YOU STUPID FUCKING PRUNE.
Note: I did not confront the woman directly, this probably would have further delayed the line. I should have just given the difference in her fucking yogurt purchases to the cashier, since the time spent at that point waiting multiplied by minimum wage alone was too fucking much wasted money.
Grocery Store Tips |6:35 PM| Here's goddamn conversational ProTip:
If you think you might be the subject of the heated discussion between the people waiting behind you in a line, here's a general way of making sure. Are you a pathetic, miserly old woman, devoid of logic and people skills? Are you holding up a grocery checkout for several ice ages? Are you holding up the line over a price dispute on yogurt, a price dispute of THIRTY FUCKING CENTS on 3 FUCKING ITEMS?
ARE YOU? Did you demand that they send a clerk to check the shelf, and then continue arguing the point with the cashier, once he got back confirming the price? Is there a man with odd hair and a live fish in a bag, who has already unloaded his items onto the belt, holding a five dollar bill waiting to offer it to the cashier to settle this debate?
WELL GUESS WHAT. You ARE the subject of the conversation, and YES, that guy DID just say he was going to "Gut her, hollow out a space and carve a fucking bookshelf out of her corpse".
You better pretend you didn't hear that, and leave to go check the shelf price yourself, YOU STUPID FUCKING PRUNE.
Note: I did not confront the woman directly, this probably would have further delayed the line. I should have just given the difference in her fucking yogurt purchases to the cashier, since the time spent at that point waiting multiplied by minimum wage alone was too fucking much wasted money.
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