Jabba the Babba |12:37 PM|
Portal was telling me about what her grandmother used to order at the Long John Silvers drive-thru. The conversation went something like:
PortalStar: "You know those crumbs of fried breading and other junk that are left in the fryer? She'd go to the drive-thru and order those, nothing else, and demand they be given for free."
Me: "Wait, she'd order the debris? You can do that? That's horrid."
Portal: "I don't think they do it normally, but you never saw my grandmother when she was trying to get her way. Few people could stand up to Jabba the Babba."
How the heck did this woman even think of ordering that crap? I don't think it's something the employees would offer, even as a joke. Upon pressing Portal for details, she just said her grandmother was always trying to make some deal or get things cheaper. Free food was free food.
...Fuck. There's so much wrong with that. There were times when I was eating nothing but instant ramen noodles and those were almost out of my price range. But at the moment that I was considering asking for clumps of missed fish-flesh, seared into little rocks of fat and shame, I'd hope I'd realize the wasted resources that my organs represented, and go donate my body to science. With the help of a ice-pick to the brain, if necessary.
I want to go to Long John Silver's drive-thru, and try ordering this stuff. For free. If no one is behind me in line and it doesn't look busy, I'll spend up to a minute bargaining with the people at the counter. If they, for some sanity-forsaken reason, do give me the debris, for free, I'll tip them a ten, give them back the bag and say "Throw this crap away. What the hell is wrong with you? Christ!"
In fact, I'll do this the next time Vorpal is in town. I'll need someone to hold the camera.Labels: Mariko
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