Thursday, July 01, 2004
What if he DID have them in stock?! |6:41 PM| I was calling around town, trying to find those genetically modified fish, the zebras they made glow in the dark with some gene tinkering. The ones that are banned from being sold or brought into California (They fear science). I've aquired a big goddamn fish tank and I plan on (eventually) owning said fish. I'll probably get one (1) goldfish and see how long I can keep him alive. I hope he's not agoraphobic, as it will be the only thing inside of a 45 gallon monster. Anyhow, on to the story, in which I am seeking the strange GloFish(tm) modified zebra.
I called Herpeton's, which is the weird pet shop here in Austin, according to sources named Vid. A slowly speaking man picked up.
Cecil: "Hi there! I'm looking for those genetically modified zebras, the ones that glow?"
Guy: "No, sorry, we don't have any"
I hung up. Vid, who had heard the conversation, spoke up.
Vid: "You know, you didn't say 'fish'."
Cecil: "Eh?"
Vid: "You asked for 'Genetically modified glowing zebras'. He thought you were prank calling him."
I called back, and got the same slow-voiced employee.
Cecil: "Hi! I just called, and I was looking for the glow in the dark fish, the modified zebra fish. Not glow in the dark zebras."
Guy: "Uh huh, no, we don't carry any fish."
Cecil: "Oh, okay. I just didn't want you to think I was a lunatic"
Guy: "Uh huh."
I guess I should have been less worried about him being shocked. He works at an exotic pet store, half of his customers are probably killed 2 days after they buy their poisonous electric flying eels or whatever. I'm sure he's getting much stranger calls than a guy asking for psuedo-horses that give off light.
Herpeton's guy: "Herpetons, how may I help you?"
Caller: "Yeah, uh, I'm looking for uh, some vicious pirahna, you know, that could eat about 170, maybe 190 pounds of meat? Dead meat? That's in a bathtub?"
Guy: "Sorry, we don't carry any fish."
Or...
Caller: "I'm looking for a toothless lamprey, something that would be able to latch onto an object about 6-7 inches long, about an inch or so in diameter?"
H. Guy: "Sorry. No fish."
What if he DID have them in stock?! |6:41 PM| I was calling around town, trying to find those genetically modified fish, the zebras they made glow in the dark with some gene tinkering. The ones that are banned from being sold or brought into California (They fear science). I've aquired a big goddamn fish tank and I plan on (eventually) owning said fish. I'll probably get one (1) goldfish and see how long I can keep him alive. I hope he's not agoraphobic, as it will be the only thing inside of a 45 gallon monster. Anyhow, on to the story, in which I am seeking the strange GloFish(tm) modified zebra.
I called Herpeton's, which is the weird pet shop here in Austin, according to sources named Vid. A slowly speaking man picked up.
Cecil: "Hi there! I'm looking for those genetically modified zebras, the ones that glow?"
Guy: "No, sorry, we don't have any"
I hung up. Vid, who had heard the conversation, spoke up.
Vid: "You know, you didn't say 'fish'."
Cecil: "Eh?"
Vid: "You asked for 'Genetically modified glowing zebras'. He thought you were prank calling him."
I called back, and got the same slow-voiced employee.
Cecil: "Hi! I just called, and I was looking for the glow in the dark fish, the modified zebra fish. Not glow in the dark zebras."
Guy: "Uh huh, no, we don't carry any fish."
Cecil: "Oh, okay. I just didn't want you to think I was a lunatic"
Guy: "Uh huh."
I guess I should have been less worried about him being shocked. He works at an exotic pet store, half of his customers are probably killed 2 days after they buy their poisonous electric flying eels or whatever. I'm sure he's getting much stranger calls than a guy asking for psuedo-horses that give off light.
Herpeton's guy: "Herpetons, how may I help you?"
Caller: "Yeah, uh, I'm looking for uh, some vicious pirahna, you know, that could eat about 170, maybe 190 pounds of meat? Dead meat? That's in a bathtub?"
Guy: "Sorry, we don't carry any fish."
Or...
Caller: "I'm looking for a toothless lamprey, something that would be able to latch onto an object about 6-7 inches long, about an inch or so in diameter?"
H. Guy: "Sorry. No fish."
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