The legal system does not like you touching it. |4:55 PM|
This morning, in courtroom 2A of Austin Municipal Courthouse, I got my last legal hassle dismissed. It was pretty straightforward, and the judge was a cool guy. He'd been chatting with the last supplicant or whatever you call them (Defendant, I suppose) in a friendly fashion. When it was my turn I tried to act as humble and respectful without being a cur, or bootlicker.
However, after the 40 seconds it took to dismiss the charges and agree to send me the rest of my bond, I made a legal faux pas. When the judge was done, I reached across the bench and offered my hand for a shake. The judge looked at my hand, clearly perplexed, as if I had suddenly sprouted a tentacle and dripped slime onto his papers.
I took back my hand right as he finally raised his own, and so I had to quickly reach back to intercept his hand for a shake. The shake was short, and akward, and then I left. I wonder if afterwards, the judge leaned over to the bailif/stenographer/computer operator and called me some name that means "he who does not know what the fuck to do in a court", you know, like "putz".
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