Friday, September 13, 2002
Hyper MacGuyver Moments |11:40 AM|
The Hotrod Hillbilly's CD release party was last night, and it was a blast. The music was a shade too loud for my sensitive ears, so I had to take the occasional break outside, but more on that in a second. I wish to brag about my incredible banner hanging skills.
The hillbillies had a large vinyl banner they wanted to hang behind the stage, and since Opal and I are friends with the band we offered to help hang it. The problem was that two nails were required to hang this thing, and only one was present in the wall. There were no hammers, no nails, no spikes, nothing could be used to secure it. I tried burying Vorpal's small pocket knife into the wood, but it simply wasn't stable enough. Vorpal ran out to a telephone pole, pried an old rusted nail from it, and delivered it back to me. It was far too twisted to use to secure the banner, and I couldn't hammer at it with a cinder block. Time was running short, as the band was about to play. Out of options, I yanked the knot open on one of my sneakers, pulled several inches of shoelace, and burned it off with my UberLighter. Meanwhile, Vorpal is laughing his ass off at my quick thinking, and he holds the banner up as I tie 3 swift knots. We flee the stage as the Satan's Cheerleaders lead the band in for their big intro.

Ah, the Satan's Cheerleaders. Adding an air of unreality to any situation they are a part of. On my first break outside the club, an elderly couple (55-65 years old, really conservative looking) walked by. The husband stopped and gestured at the poster "The Hotrod Hillbillies? What do you suppose they are?" he asked. Since I was less than 2 feet away, I got his attention, and began describing the band, along with pitching the idea that they should go in and see them.
"Yeah, it's a rock-a-billy band with a bit more rock and a little less billy, they're having a CD release party, and if you buy it at the door, you get the CD for half price!"
I had them sold on the idea, and they were walking towards the door when they suddenly noticed the Cheerleaders. His wife asked loudly "Who are they? Are they supposed to be cheerleaders?" My response was a bit vague.
Me: "They're the *cough*mumble* Cheerleaders"
Wife: "Who?"
Me: "The Satan's Cheerleaders!"
Wife: "eh?"
Me: "The SATAN'S Cheerleaders!"
Wife: "Oh! Satan!"
That's about the same time the cheerleaders came out, and said hi to everyone (they are in fact "Big sweethearts"). It was also at this point that the wife noticed the 666 emblazoned across the chests of the SC's, and said "Honey! Let's go!", dragging hubbie away. Damn. Well, all for the best I suppose, as their heads would have exploded had they actually entered the club.
On the same break outside, I ran into Emily, who you may recall as the "Fork Tongued Chick" from earlier posts. I'm now invited to a barbecue at her place in the near future. Peculiar times.
So, a fun evening of dancing like an idiot, dealing with various "missions" and random encounters. It was worth the 4:45am bed time, I think.



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We need one created for the years, and then the months. The months are the /////tricky ones, since they need their ID to increase more than the years, but since the functions keep referencing ///// the same name system, we have to be careful not to make the years close up when we click on a month. ///Set some Variables $YearMenuID = 1; /////What ID the preceding year link controls. Needs to be same for all the months under a given year. $MonthMenuID= 1; ////What ID the preceding month link controls. Needs to be the same for all the weeks under a given ////Month but not the same as any year, etc. $LastYearUsed = 0; $LastMonthUsed = 0; echo '
'; /////That should be the "Year" div. All the years should be in this one DIV. ///Start the main loop. foreach ($myDateArray as $key => $value) { ////Pulling the year/date. $month = ExtractMonth($value); $year = ExtractYear($value); $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; $PrettyMonth = $MyDateArray[$month]; ////Is this a new year? If ($year != $LastYearUsed) ///Then we need to put the year down. No DIV created quite yet. { ///First off, we need to close the preceding year's DIV. Twice if it ain't 2001 if ($year != 2001) { echo '
'; } echo '
'; //That should close up the previous year. ///Say this is the swap from 2001 to 2002, that should close up the 2001 links. ///Problem is, we also need to close up the final month links too. /// echo '
'; //We Need to set the $YearMenuID $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; ///Now it should be different than other menu items, but the same for all parts of this //year's DIV. ///This all needs to be in HTML. print<<<_HTML1_

$year

_HTML1_; ///Okay, so now we have a year link that controls...nothing. We need to create a DIV ///For it to control. Since this is the first year, We also need the first month to be put down, no matter ///what. ///So a DIV for all the months is needed. print<<<_HTML2_
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