To get to the point in this year, I hope you (Female in question) don't suffer eyestrain from reading all my emails, at which point you feel a sudden need for both Advil and gingerale, possibly root beer. At this point you get into a car, desperately fighting the waves of agony your overused eyes are washing across your mind, and begin to drive to the grocery store. Along the way you notice a turtle bravely crossing the road, but because of your limited vision you don't see him quickly enough to dodge properly. You swerve violently into the desert where the car is permanently stranded. Wandering off for help you come across an aboriginal tribe that has been living off the land and the debris of nearby Tuscon. Living among the tribe for many years, you grow to become their chief, your kind heart and understanding way coupled with a fierce warrior spirit leads the tribe to a status of control among all the other area peoples. Is it at this point you are assasinated by the poisoning of your ceremonial nose piercing.
And I would feel awful if that happend.