Tuesday, November 20, 2001
|6:56 PM| My paternal Grandmother is in town for Thanksgiving. She's gone a bit strange. She gets a little odder each year, and since I really only see her around Thanksgiving the change is very noticable.

My maternal grandmother was such an awful person that for years my parents told me she was dead. Even after I found out she wasn't, I never met her. Not once, and then she died. I still read bible passages over her grave. Maybe my family was afraid she'd pop out and come after us. Technically, this is the first joke I've made about my dead grandmother at this point. You know, the day I found out she was dead, I was talking to Triple-G on the phone. I was saying how my horrible grandfather had a lot of money, and now that I was refusing to take any of it unless he made amends, I wished he would keel over. That way, I might have a shot at being left some of it. As I was saying this, the call waiting beeped, and it was my folks telling me my grandmother was dead. How ghastly.

Okay! Now that we have that wonderful stuff out of the way, I'd like to announce a contest. I have to clear some things with Vorpal first, but it's going to be a great and fun contest. So start making sure you're elligible. Become over the age of eighteen if at all possible. Age quickly you little jailbaits! Next, collect as much butter as possible into large vats, but not too large, just fairly large. After you've started the butter process, be sure to practice shooting light rays out of your head. I promise this will all make sense once I announce the details for the contest. Vorpal, are you with me!?

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We need one created for the years, and then the months. The months are the /////tricky ones, since they need their ID to increase more than the years, but since the functions keep referencing ///// the same name system, we have to be careful not to make the years close up when we click on a month. ///Set some Variables $YearMenuID = 1; /////What ID the preceding year link controls. Needs to be same for all the months under a given year. $MonthMenuID= 1; ////What ID the preceding month link controls. Needs to be the same for all the weeks under a given ////Month but not the same as any year, etc. $LastYearUsed = 0; $LastMonthUsed = 0; echo '

'; /////That should be the "Year" div. All the years should be in this one DIV. ///Start the main loop. foreach ($myDateArray as $key => $value) { ////Pulling the year/date. $month = ExtractMonth($value); $year = ExtractYear($value); $YearMenuID = $year; $MonthMenuID = $month; $PrettyMonth = $MyDateArray[$month]; ////Is this a new year? If ($year != $LastYearUsed) ///Then we need to put the year down. No DIV created quite yet. { ///First off, we need to close the preceding year's DIV. Twice if it ain't 2001 if ($year != 2001) { echo '

'; } echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML2_; ///That creates a DIV for the year (month based links) then the month (week based links). ////Then the first weekly link. ///That should have made a link to the weekly archive file. ///As well as creating the first month link, which is in its own DIV, } Else { ///Okay, it's not a new year. So, we need to check if it's a new month. If($month != $LastMonthUsed) { //So it's a new month. That means we need to put down a link for the month to control the div //that contains the weekly links. //First, though, we need to close up the previous month echo '

$myDateArray[$key]

_HTML3_; } Else /////////So it's not a new month, then we just need to put down the weekly link. { echo '

' . $myDateArray[$key] . '

'; } } $LastMonthUsed = $month; $LastYearUsed = $year; } ECHO '